Scene King: Student Owns a Sharpie
Photo by Saint Laurent
April 15, 2019 at 9:13 am
Hear ye, hear ye, students of the University of Pennsylvania.
A Monarch of the Scene strides down Locust Walk as he exits his Castle, flags of royalty blowing in the Philadelphia wind above his invisibly crowned head.
Observing such godliness is a common though transformative experience. His above-average physical stature is draped in designer garb and subtle accessories that cost more than tuition — he, simply, is a demigod among us.
O my! Something unusual snatches my sight! But what is this? A thin, cylindrical object poking out of his pocket? It falls to the cobblestone.
It is a Sharpie.
O, how lowly the state of us, plebeians, with shoes unadorned by black scribble. When will we be blessed enough by the heavens so we too may afford doodles of great honor. Pity us, noble Scene King, ruler of our lands. We worship you and would be honored to kiss the soles of your fucking overpriced shoes, worn simply to flex.