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Tour Group Mistakes Sadness in the Eyes of Students for Intelligence

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Photo by the Daily Pennsylvanian 

The Monday after Thanksgiving Break not only saw the Penn population return from its mass exodus but also came with gaggles and gaggles of tour groups, consisting of parents and children who either want to attend or want to live vicariously through their offspring. 

Those people on these tours, however, seem to consistently arrive at the same faulty conclusion. They mistake sadness in the eyes of students for high intelligent quotients. 

“Certainly, there is something different about these students,” said Peter W. Munth, the father of a prospective student from Boston, MA. “We can tell just by glancing at their faces, which are all concentrated on the ground with immense focus, almost as if they’d become frazzled if their eyes met with those of another.” 

He chuckled at his observation: “What could they be thinking about? Gosh, these kids are so damn smart! Geniuses!” He looked at his son’s smile and excitement for life and almost winced, as if to say that such a visage could not possibly fit in here. 

“Their brains must be moving and working so fast that their eyes are sweating!” he reckoned after seeing a young girl stumble out of Van Pelt library with some mysterious clear liquid gliding down her cheeks. 

“It’s UPenn, kid,” he said while nudging his son, “you’d be lucky to be one of these students.” 

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