Here's How to Justify That Party You Went To
Photo by CPXi / CC BY 2.0
September 2, 2020 at 12:00 am
In this era of time, often described as “unprecedented,” it can be hard to know how to act and what to do. Is the novel coronavirus real? Will it affect you? Is it the genre of novel you even care about? And most importantly… should it keep you from going to that party?
Well, at UTB we are here to help you justify all of the morally equivocal decisions in your life. Here’s how to justify that party you went to last week:
It was your best friend’s birthday.
- Well, half-birthday. And to be honest, half-best friend because they’ve been annoying you recently. But those details don’t matter. Your best fremeny only turns 20 and a half ONCE. And you absolutely had to go to the party to celebrate.
You had a stressful week.
- And who can blame you? It's stressful thinking about the pandemic, the election, and a last-minute remote learning environment. It was definitely way harder for you to deal with it than everyone else, and you deserved to blow off some steam with an irresponsible number of your closest acquaintances.
It was Marg Monday!
- What? Are you supposed to miss a Marg Monday party because other people—who you don’t even know personally—might die a slow and painful death?
It was Thursday.
- And you wanted to party. And you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
It was Friday.
- Weekend alert! It’s only fair to pour one out for all those who can’t. Specifically the 182,149 people who have died from COVID-19 in the US alone.
We hope this has been helpful. And always remember: any party you go to can be justified when you remember that you are simply more important than other people.