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The Patriot in Me: Selling Nudes to Fund My Biden Contribution


Photo by Janeb13 / CC by 2.0

I love America! Where else can you be a pussy grabber, evade taxes, and get away with it? The home of the brave and the land of the free, that's where! Being the patriot that I am, the upcoming election got me really, really hot. Unfortunately, I was not in a position to start donating money to the Biden Victory Fund. Sorry Joe, but I'm a broke bitch. Where's Bernie and his no student debt plan when you need him? 

Luckily, no fiscal matter is big enough to prevent me from helping build back better. So, how to overcome such a hurdle? Thanks for asking. All I had to do was sell pictures of my cooch. Well, I also do titty pics, but only when I'm feeling frisky. To my surprise, there were a multitude of platforms willing to disperse my nudes – and for free! My preferred, however, is the all-time favorite, OnlyFans

I needed a handle that would be catchy, a little political, but not too edgy. In honor of our recently deceased Supreme Court justice, I decided to go with @theNotoriousV.A.G. Of course, not everyone can be as patriotic as me and go the extra mile for Uncle Joe. But don't worry, you can join the good fight by subscribing to my profile. For a limited time only, Penn students can get 10% off their subscription by using the promo code Restore-the-Snatch-of-America at check out! 

Whether you're a broke college student or have a net worth of $170 billion, there is one thing that unites us all. We live in America, second to none! We all have to do our part to ensure our democracy does not go down the crapper. We have nothing to lose, we have a world to win, so sellers of nudes, UNITE!