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World-Renowned Astrophysicist Still Can’t Figure Out How to Screenshare Over Zoom


Photo by Pixabay with edits by Sonia Feil / CC 2.0

It’s been a hard eight months of teaching for Professor Edwin Klaus of the Department of Physics and Astronomy.

Professor Klaus has earned two PhDs in astrophysics and in astronomy. He helped design and launch the International Space Station. He has been nominated for the Nobel Prize in physics every year for the past five years. But, the most difficult part of Professor Klaus’s career has been figuring out the basic functions of Zoom.

“I simply don’t understand it,” proclaimed a frustrated Klaus. “This may be the least user-friendly piece of software ever designed by humankind.”

Students in Klaus’ classes report that what were once weekly breakdowns have now become daily episodes of Professor Klaus lashing out at his computer. “I’ve tried every route imaginable to resolve this issue,” said Klaus, tearing up. “I have disassembled and then reassembled my NASA-grade computer no fewer than 15 times.”

Despite Professor Klaus’s best efforts to both locate and press the bright green “Share Screen” icon, 20 cringeworthy minutes into every class he ends up dragging out a chalkboard to painstakingly recreate his google slides in their entirety.

Klaus also doesn’t know how to mute himself and can therefore be heard making comments about how proud he is that his course is too difficult for any student to pass. UTB brought this and his other incompetencies to the University’s attention, but was politely told: “f*ck off, he’s tenured.”