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Republican Wonders Why Dick Leans Left


Photo (with edits by Meresa García) by Dean via Flickr / CC 2.0

Rodney was the model citizen. He always did what his ma' and pa' told him. He was always the first one to scream at women as they entered abortions clinics. He always screamed at women in general. He already knew how how to wield an AK47 before the ripe old age of five, in preparation for the crazy liberal uprising. Every time he passed by shop windows, Rodney would hear the old leaders whisper now that's what a good Republican looks like. And oh, what a good Republican he was! 

So, imagine his surprise when, taking a piss behind the gas station, he noticed his dick wasn't quite right. 

"I 'bought near had a heart attack!" cried Rodney during his interview, "the little sucker was leaning left! Left for Christ's sake! After all the anti-immigrant rallies and cross burnings, how could it do this to me?" 

Ashamed, Rodney never told anyway of his condition. At first, he thought his johnson would straighten itself out and forget all this left leaning nonsense. However, after several erections had his shaft tilting even further left, Rodney began questioning everything he knew. 

What if his pecker was trying to tell him something? What if … no … liberals … god no … weren't … what the … all that … bad? 

Rodney has now joined the Moderate Republicans group on Facebook (under a pseudonym of course). Thanks to his leftist dick, Rodney's politics are a-changin'. While he is far from accepting anyone darker than a pale girl's summer tan, he has come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, equity is okay (maybe).