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Squirrels Excited for No Nut November


Photo by Nick Savchenko via Flickr / CC 2.0 

Between Sober October and Destroy Dick December, there lies one of the most celebrated months in the Squirrel community: No Nut November. This time of year is all about friends, family, gratitude, and above else, cashing in on those abandoned nuts! 

"It's been a tradition ever since our Founding Squirrel Fathers came to Penn's campus," remarked Sammy, seventh generation Squirrel, "All throughout the month, we get together and just dig through the trash, looking for the thrown away nuts, and even legumes." 

The Squirrel Community is grateful for the humans participating in No Nut November. These folks discard cashews, almonds, and walnuts – among other nutty delights – to raise awareness of those battling nut allergies. Thanks to Sammy and his friends, these edible kernels do not go to waste! 

Their scavenging culminates in a night of festivities and friendly competitions. The most coveted awards include Biggest Nut, Tastiest Nut, and Cleanest Nut

In recent years, however, some are beginning to the misinterpret the meaning of the popular holiday. 

"The other day," observed Shelley, Senior Squirrel Leader, "I overheard one of our boys saying he won't bust a nut until the end of November! He's got it all wrong, poor lad. It's the humans who can't enjoy a nice nut, not us. We just eat what they don't want."  

Fortunately, the community has funded initiatives to combat the spread of this misinformation. Nationwide, Squirrels rejoice over the voluntary suffering of us wretched humans. While many of us may despise No Nut November, it is the biggest nutting season for these tiny rodents.