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Strippers Confused About Alarm in Shortage of Poll Workers


Photo by Toni Blay via Flickr / CC 2.0 

Things had changed at Plan B due to the pandemic. Girls still glided up and down polls, but they did it with disinfecting wipes between their ass cheeks. The regulars continued unzipping their flies, but six feet from the stage. 

Nonetheless, the strip club was up and running as usual.  

Coming off her shift, Lola Luxx walked into the dressing room where Double D showed her the email. 

It was from Bootsie McCummings, the president of Strippers in Alliance. She planned to hold a national (virtual) conference to address the false information currently being dispersed. 

"I am horrified," McCummings remarked only a few nights later, "that the media would spread such blatantly fake news. Girls, there is absolutely no shortage of poll workers! You see all those tits jiggling around? There's no shortage here or anywhere."

Long time stripper, Delilah Delightful, wondered why so many believed in the misinformation. 

"All these organizations are going along with this lie! And not one has contacted any of the clubs to ask if the shortage is real. Which it isn't! But I guess now people are finally recognizing how important we are in keeping our democracy alive."

Strippers in Alliance encourages those who want to pursue a stripping career to apply, but to understand that the business is under no means experiencing a lack of poll workers. 

Potential candidates should be aware that the position is paid, not volunteer. They will receive the proper PPE if hired as the clubs are upholding social distancing measures. 

If interested in becoming a stripper, please visit PowerthePolls.org for more information.