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Best DIY GF Gift: Letting Her Finish First!


Photo (with edits by Meresa García) by Ed Yourdon via Flickr / CC 2.0 

Are you, this pathetic little simp, currently scrolling away on Amazon, wondering what to buy your hot girlfriend? Yes, yes you are. But do you know what she wants? No, no you don't. Well, my friend, you are in luck! Because the best gift you can get her is something that doesn't require daddy's money. It's a simple do-it-yourself. All the required materials are right at your fingertips! 

Whichever holiday you happen to celebrate, this gift is sure to make you a little less annoying to your girlfriend. What she really wants this year is to finish first. That's right make her orgasm top priority next time you manage to get her into bed. 

You might be thinking, but my pee-pee is too sensitive! Too bad. Start googling or something. Because I guarantee you that every time you finish before her, your girlfriend is thinking of the many ways she can murder you. To be honest, it's just plain rude. Disrespectful even. If you're going to make her clean up after your dirty mess, you can at least make sure she goes first.  

And make it nice. Wear something sexy. Or nothing at all! Buy a nice bottle of wine or get her roses if she likes. Just remember, when you feel like bursting, don't! Give her the best holiday gift of 2020 and watch as she finishes. 

If that doesn't work out, buy her a vibrator. She'll need it once she dumps you after you don't let her finish for the nth time. 

Happy holidays you wimp!