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Shoot: Gutmann Forgot To Cancel Spring Semester

gutmann

Photo by Meresa García / The Daily Pennsylvanian 

As President Amy Gutmann wandered onto campus earlier this month, she witnessed something unnervingly familiar, yet incredibly foreign. She spotted a doe eyed freshman puffing along Locust Walk, pushing a moving cart filled with all types of crap. "Odd," the president wondered to herself. "That’s really odd." But then, she saw another one! Then another! And another! 

And here is where Amy G. had a most profound realization. "Fuck," she thought, "I forgot to lock the front door!" This panic was quickly replaced by a less pressing worry.

“You see, I had the email all ready to go,” commented the president when interviewed. “I mean really,” she whispered, "I just copied and pasted the old announcement, replacing a few words here and there. I must have just forgotten to press send, my b!” 

The University planned to wait until a week before scheduled move-in to announce that, in actuality, spring 2021 was to be virtual and that campus was to remain closed. However, preoccupied with current home renovations, Gutmann misplaced the sticky note explicitly reminding her to cancel spring semester. 

Luckily, Amy is a firm believer in second chances. She hopes to rectify her mistake in mid-March when she asks all students to return home and never come back.  

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