Heartwarming! Ted Cruz Boiled Mexican Tap Water In Solidarity

Last week, Winter Storm Uri wreaked havoc on Texas, leaving millions without power and dozens dead. In the midst of this catastrophe, GOP Senator Ted Cruz came under fire for taking a last-minute trip to Cancún, Mexico, escaping his doomed home state. Although Cruz’s reputation took a hit, his team has successfully initiated damage control: the senator tweeted a photo op of himself loading bottled water into trunks with the inspiring caption “#TexasStrong,” and today it was revealed that Cruz took it upon himself to boil some water of his own—Mexican tap water from his Cancún resort—in solidarity with his fellow Texans.

Already, former critics of Cruz have come forward to apologize. “Had we known the hardships Senator Cruz was taking on in Cancún, we never would have moved forward with our terrible and unfunny sketch,” reads one such statement from SNL. “...Senator Cruz has been a beacon of hope in the midst of this crisis.”

Penn students with family in Texas have been anxious to make sure that their loved ones are safe, but knowing that Ted Cruz has been roughing it with the best of em has brought a certain sense of comfort.

“It means a lot to me,” says Texas native, Sammy Rodriguez (W ‘23). “You know, my family in Austin has been really struggling to stay warm and find drinkable water, so to see Senator Ted Cruz take 5 minutes out of his vacation time to boil a pot of water is truly heartwarming. I’m sure it’ll mean a lot to my family too once their power comes back on.”

Selfless Ted, as he is now being called, can relate to the worry that these Penn students feel. Although he has been summoned back to Texas, his family is still in the trenches of Cancún. “I just hope my silly wife and daughters have been remembering to boil that dirty dirty Mexican tap water before drinking it,” said Cruz in a press release. Senator Cruz is reportedly looking forward to helping his constituents in any way he can in the coming weeks, from personally chopping down wind turbines to tweeting from the comfort of his $2M mansion. #TexasStrong