Penn Announces New Ratio of Ten Hot TA’s for Every Professor

Shocked by the number of students scrolling mindlessly through Instagram during their online lectures, the University Registrar partnered with Weingarten Learning Resources Center to help professors facilitate better classroom engagement. 

Regardless of class size or structure, each professor will be assigned ten hot new TA’s at the beginning of next week. The inaugural group will consist of both highly experienced and diverse individuals. Some have walked for the Marilyn Agency, Premier, and Ford Models while others have modeled for lower end names, such as Lacoste, Victoria Secret, and of course, J. Crew. 

Upon hearing the news, students were quite eager to see which model they might get. “I know some people who want TA’s from BMG or Heffner Management,” explained College sophomore Anna Taylor, “But I’m hoping for someone lowkey, like from a Target catalogue or something. They’d be more chill and lenient with grades I think.” 

While some think the ratio to be too high, most argue that ten is actually a perfect number. “It’ll take the workload off of professors with bigger classes,” stated Ralph Larson WH ’21, “While creating a more intimate environment in the smaller ones.” 

The Office of the Provost commented that if their new learning program exceeds expectations, they may even consider replacing all professors with hot TA’s, explaining that this will surely increase the number of admission applicants.