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Sara Excited for Spring Break-Down


Photo by Tom Waterhouse // CC 2.0 

Penn has graciously granted the entire student body two marvelous days of respite. Sara, of course, has been looking forward to these days off ever since the university announced their rather reasonable Spring decision. The College sophomore circled, bookmarked, and proudly labeled March 10 and 11th in bold, red writing as Break-Down!

“A lot of people think that the University hasn’t really been supportive of us,” Sara said as she set out boxes of Kleenex and unopened tubs of ice cream. “And I get it, the whole Spring eviction incident of ‘20, not great. This whole money-grab thing with the sophomores … eek. But, that’s why they’re giving us two whole days! To process our PTSD that’s been accumulating ever since last Spring.”

In preparation for her Spring Break-Down, Sara shoved her mental health aside and focused on the hours of unnecessary virtual lectures. Sara ignored any and all negative emotions, which she had gotten quite good at given Penn’s amazing ability to shock and awe. All this because she knew that she would have time to rid herself of this new jaded and pessimistic attitude during these two planned days. 

She hopes that her fellow classmates will also enjoy their cathartic experiences of emotional purging. In fact, for anyone interested, she will be hosting a 48 hour zoom event in which anyone and everyone can come cry, scream, and relinquish all feelings.