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How to Get a Bid From Any Frat in 30 Seconds


Photo by nym / CC BY 2.0

If you’re reading this, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re nothing like me.  I was very close to getting a bid at this frat that hugeshlong69 almost always put above the line of relevancy on GreekRank, and I didn’t even try. So let's just say this: you’ ve come to the right place. Even though dirty rush is 3 months long, if you move them hips with a purpose and you talk really fast, all it really takes is 30 seconds to lock in that early bid. 

Step 1: get dripped out 

This one should be obvious, but you need these guys to think that you do sex on the reg, and that starts and ends with the fit. Pull up in some maternity jeans with a thong strap peeking out and hit them with a subtle, “shiiiit must’ve put my girl’s clothes on”, and they’ll know they’re looking at a permanent resident in forincation-ville. If they don’t hand you a bid then and there, it isn’t the place for you. 

Step 2: confidence 

Boys love a boy with confidence. And nothing says confidence like sitting down and acting like you own the place. Right when you get inside, sit down in as many different positions, in as many different places as you can in 30 seconds. Mid convo, just sit down and lean on their shins. Lay belly down on the most active pong table. And finish it off by finding the biggest guy there and sitting on his shoulders. They’ll all know what's up. 

Step 3: eye contact 

If you want to set yourself apart from the other rushes, then lock eyes with some brothers. They love this shit. Find a brother with pretty eyes, grab his attention, and never unlock eyes with him. If he looks away, then run to wherever he is looking and stare into his soul again. Never let go. Never ever let go. 

Step 4: act like you don’t give a shit 

This is the fourth and final step: the best way to make them want you. Act like you don’t give a shit about anything. Every few steps just slip and fall. Get back up and say “pff I don’t care. I don’t give a shit”, and then slip and fall again. If your maternity jeans fall off then fucking leave them. You don’t care. 

Follow these four steps, nay, embody these four steps, and greek life will be your bitch. Don’t, and risk losing hugeshlong69’s respect. The choice is yours.