What's HapPENNing?
(04/04/16 2:39pm)
Looks like Not Fling Week is especially HapPENNing this year! Take a Chance on these amazing events that you will actually remember the next day.
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Looks like Not Fling Week is especially HapPENNing this year! Take a Chance on these amazing events that you will actually remember the next day.
Another St. Paddy's day and fake St. Paddy's party day have come and gone, and we've officially begun the four-week pre-Fling slump. Fortunately, there are still many things hapPENNing! Here are a few:
Yet another Halloweekend has come and gone, and swear to God, if we see one more Hotline Bling Dad Sweater, it will be too soon. Not everyone just picked something off the first page of the Google results for "easy Halloween costume," though. It's time to give credit where it's due and award the best of Halloween 2015. Check out past champs here and here, and stay tuned later tonight for this year's WORST costumes of the year.
After a sudden fire destroyed Cafe Renata this past March, we were all left wondering why bad things happen to good pancakes. But lo, like a phoenix rising from literal ashes, the beloved breakfast place is back in business and better than ever.
Looks like chef and restauranteur Rick Bayless is at it again. Last year he stole our hearts and our Penn Cash with his zesty guacamole and those cute little buzzers, and word has it that the crafty chef may have raised prices even more.
Last round's results are in, and it looks like cross campus skiing expeditions are in and Canada Goose is finally out. Forget the UA and the upcoming United States presidential election. Penn Madness is the only vote that truly counts. The public deserves – nay, the public NEEDS – to know whether Usher's FroGro appearance tops our surprising Playboy victory as this year's best story, so make your voice heard!
If you're reading this, it means you've made it to the final stretch before spring break. You've come a long way since January, friends! As a lil' pre-spring gift from us to you, we've gone ahead and marked (***) the events this week that have free food. You're so welcome! No, YOU'RE literally the sweetest.
Yet another AEPi update – According to the DP, AEPi really is serious about recolonizing campus, as they're looking to get Penn approval in the next year. The initial moves were reportedly made by the frat's national office. Honestly, we couldn't be happier. It's high time this school gets an organization centered on Jewish brotherhood.
Looks like some eager AEPis have jumped the gun a bit. According to a tip from OFSL, AEPi has not received recolonization approval from the university yet, and any group that forms will be considered an underground organization. Once victims of the system, always victims of the system. Just say no to hazing, kids.
No, not the world-famous DJ with the superhuman ability to both see and function in a stadium full of gyrating teens while wearing a giant mouse head. Did you really think we'd forget the 5, silly? One unlucky student felt something on her foot in Houston and was horrified to find this real live dead maus hanging out under her table. Judging by its extreme level of deadness, this lil guy either died in 1858 or accidentally ate some Houston sushi.
[Disclaimer: This post was part of our annual Joke Day series. As if we would ever use this font seriously.]
Don't let the other holidays distract you from the TRUE holiday that is almost upon us. Correct – it's beginning to look a lot like Early Decision Day. Let us give thanks for the fact that we never have to take the SAT ever again by laughing (good naturedly) at the comments of Class of 2019 potentials (holy shit) on Penn's Instagram, shall we?
It's finally pre-Thanksgiving week, which means you don't have to do any work for the next thirteen days because you'll be on break in a mere nine anyway. It appears none of this week's events involve turkey, which is a bummer.
Looking to up your resume game? Elle Woods pioneered pink scented paper, but one freshman went several thousand steps further and launched this sweet website.
What is it that's so darn fun about Halloween? It's not the drunken downtown DJ debacles or even the candy. It's all about the brave souls going about their daily business in full costume way before it's actually appropriate to be in costume. To all you mimes eating Wawa hoagies (silently) and you Teletubbies strolling down Locust forcing us to relive our childhood fears, thanks. Just thanks.
Just when we thought we were beyond the Whartonite jokes, this gem of a class popped up on the spring course register and it's pretty much too good. Obviously all Wharton (and maybe non-Wharton but probably not) students are going to be rollin' in it so you better learn how to hide your assets while you still can! This course is crosslisted with ECON621: Wealth Gap, Shmealth Gap. If spots fill up, we hear these classes have a pretty sick curve.
If you've been a bit of a curmudgeon for no apparent reason in the last few weeks, you're not a bitch. You're just another poor soul suffering from in-between seasonal affective disorder. Ordering a toasty PSL when it's 72 degrees outside and always being inappropriately dressed for the weather no matter what you wear can really get to you.
If you've been a bit of a curmudgeon for no apparent reason in the last few weeks, you're not a bitch. You're just another poor soul suffering from in-between seasonal affective disorder. Ordering a toasty PSL when it's 72 degrees outside and always being inappropriately dressed for the weather no matter what you wear can really get to you.
The mysterious heroes of the Medical Emergency Response Team will now be emerging from their top secret fortress located under Ware and saving us all 24/7 on weekends rather than 5PM-7AM. Why, you ask, would one need to be MERTed at 4PM on a Sunday? There are so many possibilities. Here are but a few.**
Campus is definitely alive with the sweet sound of jackhammers. It seems like everywhere we turn, a new building is popping up and it's hard to keep them all straight. Penn has put over 60 MIL of our (parents', donors') hard-earned $$$ into 40 construction sites since this summer alone.