Huge L: Student Flubs Every Locust Interaction on Way to Class
We're going to take Locust today. It's going to be fine.
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We're going to take Locust today. It's going to be fine.
Wa wa wa. Brandon Fishman (C ’20) is a big ol’ baby.
In a landmark study, Penn psychologists found that a lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night.
Kayla, I swear to God. I didn’t get a nose job. I had a deviated septum and I honestly couldn’t breathe.
The Undergraduate Assembly announced their new Fet Club initiative, which will replace the traditional Feb Club event series with a different fetish activity for seniors every night of February.
Senior Patrice Macintyre is graduating with his bachelor’s degree in English next month, despite having read no more than than the first few pages of every book he was assigned.
Wow, talk about #couplegoals. This is the cutest thing we’ve seen from a Penn couple in a long, long time.
Wow. This might just be the most inspiring story of the year.
The University community is reeling after the tragic death of Azra Babaoğlu, who was swallowed by her own gigantic scarf.
At their biannual meeting Thursday, the Board of Trustees announced that a proposed divestment from fossil fuels would be “economically infeasible,” as the Trustees slugged viscous unleaded petroleum from crystal stemware.
The Penn Real Estate Department announced yesterday that efforts to erect a building on the last remaining square foot of grass on campus are faltering.
The University marked the millionth hour of pornography streamed on the campus Wi-Fi network yesterday, according to Penn Information Systems and Computing.
Displaying the translucent material for all to see, Penn researchers announced their creation of an even thinner new toilet paper for campus bathrooms.
As Jocelyn Zhao (W ’21) walked to 30th Street Station to catch a train Monday afternoon, she was struck by the observation that Drexel University’s campus is “actually kinda nice.”
The metal underbelly of his MacBook frigid against his sensitive thigh skin, Ryan Glover (C ’19) struggled to operate his laptop computer while on the toilet yesterday.
Sometimes, it pays to take a risk.
The fancy, decadent man you share a house with is currently brewing espresso with his expensive, highly-specialized device.
According to eyewitness testimony, Nursing junior Michael Huang is becoming anxious thinking about his bowel movements tomorrow only a few moments after receiving his order of nachos at Copa Banana.
Hey guys. Super pumped for the party tonight. I just wanted to let you know that I took an Adderall earlier, so if you see me developing an app tonight, that’s why.
Rick Bayless, the celebrity chef behind popular campus sandwich spot Tortas Frontera, is frolicking about his restaurant completely nude and covered head-to-toe in his signature housemade guacamole, according to the Department of Public Safety.