Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
Jenny (C '21) wants to become more environmentally conscious and, after watching a few Buzzfeed videos and completing a few bullet journal pages, decided to lead a zero-waste lifestyle to the best of her abilities.
College senior Greg McBriar’s academic performance is mediocre as always, but his Feb Club participation is flawless. He is experiencing an unparalleled amount of drive that he had not yet embodied during his time at Penn: he must make it on to the Smoke’s plaque.
Capital One Cafe isn’t like other cafes. It’s worse. Let me explain.
Alright, I need you to be really honest with me for just a second. I have a question I’ve been dying over lately —no pun intended.
The exec board of the newly formed Penn Bacteria Club (PBC) has been on the hunt for the germiest, most disgusting place near campus to hold regular events. As the premier bacilli appreciation student group at Penn, they wanted their sacred meeting place to reflect the values and infections they hope to embody.
Rebecca Simmons (C ’20) felt a rush last week when she opened her pale pink package filled to the brims with sticky, glittery, over-priced substances from Glossier. She was finally joining the cultish “people-powered beauty ecosystem” since her mom completely ignored these items on her Christmas list. That’s fine – she’s not young or pouty; she’s not supposed to get it.
“Been through some bad shit. I should be a sad bitch. Who would’ve thought it’d turn me to a savage?” said freshman Cara Fitzgerald to herself after suffering the emotional damage of Saxby’s almond milk shortage for her iced latte.
Bonjour, betches! The semester is off to a global start for a group of Greek affiliated freshmen women.
Several Penn students created an art installation aiming to highlight the lack of footwear diversity at Penn. The installation, a giant white sneaker placed adjacent to the Ben Franklin bench to softly caress his metal foot, was later taken down the same day.
Bumble, I sip your sweet, sweet nectar each and every night as I lay in my bed, swiping through my potential suitors. All alone, I feel a slight chill from the emptiness of my soul and apartment's dysfunctional heating system and wonder what it would be like to feel the warmth of a body next to mine.
Senior Elise Harris was so excited to finally turn 21, a milestone she’d been looking forward to for years. When the day finally came, she was overjoyed to throw out her fake IDs, take her first legal trip to the liquor store but be nervous anyway, do lines off a Smoke’s toilet seat, and make life-shattering mistakes while blackout that would take days, if not weeks, to repair.
Duty calls, and sometimes it calls outside the comfort of your apartment's shared toilet. And what’s worse than the agony of knowing that people who simply want to empty their bladder are hearing and probably appalled by the bellowing plops of your poop?
With freshmen getting decent living situations and Wharton kids receiving mental health care now, I have comparatively few rights and privileges at this unjust school. However, there is one privilege that I will refuse to give up, no matter how egregious it may seem.
Picture this. You’re hanging out with your besties on a night out, just trying to get your drank on, when a man thinks his penis gives him the right to have a conversation with you. Hate to see it! But don’t worry, your night doesn’t have to be ruined. Bring out the big guns and use one or many of these UTI-related exclamations to ward off that creepy guy.
Ladies, on this campus riddled with hand, foot, and mouth disease and midterms-induced greasy hair, we have to prioritize cleanliness when securing a mans for the long, cold winter ahead. Forget looks, brains, humor, or spontaneity: this cuffing season, we’re all about the sanitation. Here are six hygienic reasons to trap the ass of that germ-aware guy who’s been hitting you up.
Listen, don’t take it personally, but I met your parents this weekend, and now it’s extremely clear to me why and how you suck so much. It’s as if I saw the embodiment of anything and everything that’s wrong with you, except heightened.
Forget Stacy’s mom! Stacy’s dad is really the one who’s got it goin’ on. Actually, it’s your best friend Lindsey’s dad, and now whenever you think of him you get an indescribable feeling that can only be compared to watching Full House’s Uncle Jesse as an adolescent.
Senior year: the year of lasts, firsts, parties, and the impending doom of transitioning into a somewhat functioning adult outside of this microcosm of coffee chats and coffee shops. Bobby Jenkins (W ’19), though, has been loving this semester so far.
Boo, bitches. The crisp autumn air means Starbucks menus have flipped and sorority trips to Linvilla Orchards are in full swing. Though with this pleasant change of weather comes another difficult change as classes become more intense for Wharton sophomore Jessica Daniels.
Penn students’ motto is work hard, play harder, right? Our bangers rival those of Playboy’s top party schools, yeah? So Jason Kaliff (C ’22) thought, until he visited his best friend from home at his random run-of-the-mill college over Fall Break.