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(14 hours ago)
An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania. To make you more comfortable in this space, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are Maya Kreger and Carey Salvin, both self-declared role models and the least self-indulgent people you’ll ever meet. In the end, we’re just two girls hoping to spread goodwill with our life-changing and fully ideated ideas. We are here to answer your questions, no matter how outlandish or simplistic they might be. You're welcome!
(12/10/23 10:47pm)
Time is not linear.
(11/21/23 5:05pm)
I’m so scared. What could be in it? What is substance? A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose. When does it stop being the rose, though? You can put a block of tofu on a plate, market it as vegan escargot and charge me $14.99. How far can we stretch this idea? What if on this plate, or rather brown cardboard packaging, was a single white rose, labeled vegan escargot. Would the price change? I fear not.
(11/15/23 4:36pm)
Malaise: noun
(11/07/23 5:55pm)
Snatched as the day is long…
(10/30/23 2:31pm)
I want to walk a 5K for you. I’ll give you my organs. The blood that runs through my veins. The food off my plate. Anything. Everything for you, girl. You are so bored and I know how much you hate that. I’m glad your friend relates to you, there is strength in numbers.
(10/19/23 4:17pm)
In Mid-October, it can get rather chilly. Not cold, per say, but a frigid in between temperature, one that causes goose pimples to sprout and light sweaters to appear. The leaves are beginning to turn, and I begin to yearn for a time before the one we are currently experiencing as of now.
(10/02/23 5:20pm)
Junior, Vanessa Sullivan, when asked by her Econ professor to explain her absence at the first three weeks of lecture, replied promptly and confidently with the following:
(09/06/23 6:42pm)
Most of the people in this world are ugly. They are sick and twisted, yearning for the destruction of all things good and simple. I like literally hate it here.
(09/08/23 10:40pm)
As the common app deadline approaches, incoming students may be looking for a reason to choose Penn. Out of all the reasons to select a college to attend, the relative size of buildings and objects on campus is by far the most important to consider. For those who did not get to visit campus before making their decision, fear not! Here is a tour of Penn's campus, with coin for scale. I sincerely apologize for my lack of gel manicure, this photo essay was spontaneous, as best things in life usually are.
(04/18/23 10:17pm)
I hate to say it, but this preprofessional environment is really starting to get to me. I sit here scrolling through LinkedIn, looking at these suckers posting their corporate internships for biotech startups and some sort of finance thingy. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here skipping the John Smith Interlude of the new Lana Del Rey album because that’s the sort of priorities I have. Should I be trying something different?
(04/17/23 7:08pm)
An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania. To make you more comfortable in this space, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are Maya Kreger and Carey Salvin, both self-declared role models and the least self-indulgent people you’ll ever meet. In the end, we’re just two girls hoping to spread goodwill with our life-changing and fully ideated ideas. We are here to answer your questions, no matter how outlandish or simplistic they might be. You're welcome! If you have any issues that require our assistance, fret not and submit your questions here.
(04/11/23 7:54pm)
Damn, it’s like really nice out. But the weather app says 50% chance of rain, low of 59 Celsius high 78 Celsius for tomorrow. What should I wear?
(03/22/23 11:57pm)
Check it out. The building behind the former Mcdonald’s is actually sort of pretty, somehow. And the side of the Radian is surprising, in a comforting way, with all its angles and such. I think I’m starting to like it here.
(02/23/23 4:05am)
Soupe du jour? Friendship.
(03/01/23 9:31pm)
Sometimes, around three times each day, I feel so hungry that I prepare/purchase a meal to my liking. I’ve spent many years on this planet, and many of these years were spent consuming sub-par food. Not anymore. This year, I’ve started eating a diet of only truly delicious foods and I’ve never felt better. I hope you enjoy this tour and eat something really truly delicious, like banana bread or green grapes Buckle up and let's discover some great foods together...
(02/13/23 4:02pm)
Sometimes, accidents happen. You leave a window open, a pipe bursts, and a few dozen students are made homeless. Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Flood, shmlood.
(02/09/23 7:53pm)
An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania. To make you more comfortable in this space, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are Maya Kreger and Carey Salvin, both self-declared role models and the least self-indulgent people you’ll ever meet. In the end, we’re just two girls hoping to spread goodwill with our life-changing and fully ideated ideas. We are here to answer your questions, no matter how outlandish or simplistic they might be. You're welcome!
(02/03/23 4:17pm)
The groundhog has spoken: Girl Scout cookie season is upon us. For most of the community, this is a joyous time, filled with the thinnest of all mints, as well as other various treats of various levels of deliciousness. However, for many, it is a disgusting reminder of the lack of education among our youth.
(02/03/23 4:18pm)
Count your blessings. No, seriously, count them. I swear to god by the time I get home, you better be counting your blessings.