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Don't worry, that girl that hasn't been responding to your texts in the past few weeks of social isolation isn't ignoring you — she's just been super busy, maybe.
Though many Penn students are understandably upset by the University's decision to shift entirely to online classes, one community of Penn students has seen a bright side to the COVID-19 virus. Numerous Undergrads Decrying wEaring-pants (NUDE) put out an official statement delineating their position on the crisis:
We are fast approaching a pivotal point in American history. Soon, voters will decide whether they wish to maintain the (good, cool) status quo with a centrist candidate like former Vice President Joe Biden, or turn to accursèd socialism with anyone to the left of Joe Biden.
A recent survey of architecture majors at universities nationwide has found that the most popular beer among students of architecture is Natural Light. Keystone Light came in at a close second, with Budweiser in third.
Henry is a 21-year-old Wharton student with a love of Corona and a mild case of scurvy. He and his roommates (Chad, Brad, and Mad (short for Madthew)) have three fridges in their Hamilton Court apartment. And yet, a thorough inspection of these fridges by Under the Button did not yield a single vegetable. We sat down with Henry to learn more about his story.
Look, the joke is in the title. I really don't have that much to say about this. I came up with this while bored in STAT-102. It's not even the professor's fault, he's actually a fairly engaging lecturer. Does that compromise the premise of this article? Maybe.
In a series of events that some are already clumsily referring to as "34th-Street-Gate," the offices of popular gossip rag 34th Street Magazine have been revealed to not be located on 34th Street at all, but rather all the way over on 40th Street.
Penn’s preeminent fashion magazine has just become even swankier. The student-run publication previously known as The Walk has rebranded, taking on the very chic moniker The Strut.
When 2017 Wharton MBA graduate Steve Donovan left McKinsey, he was worried that his days of facilitating the immoral detainment of innocent people were over. He doesn’t have to worry anymore! As of this morning, Donovan has locked world-renowned K-pop supergroup BTS in a small steel cage.
Hi, my name is Patrick. I've overheard thousands of conversations and have been included in three or four. If you're not a gifted conversationalist like me, you might be wondering, "how do I do these dang things?" But don't worry pal, I'm here for you. Here are some helpful tips that can get you started:
This new accounting professor is kinda weird, right? Now that the accounting concentration got the axe, it really seems like Penn is scraping the bottom of the barrel with their hiring decisions.
Citing his “proper upbringing,” Wharton sophomore and known British person Rupert Algernon Sinclair IV has confirmed that he refers to local fast-food chain Jimmy John’s solely as “James Jonathan’s.”
Dear Penn Students,
Idiot alert! Instead of writing his own name, Wharton freshman Eric Curtis reportedly wrote “Michael Fassbender” on the front page of his accounting exam today. Your name’s not Michael Fassbender, dummy! Your name’s Eric!
Looking around his HamCo bedroom and noticing a distinct lack of local flora, College junior and soon-to-be plant murderer Jacob Milton reportedly thought about buying a plant for his room this Saturday.
Generational tensions on campus have never been higher than they are this week, as local Boomer and Engineering senior Jack Murphy turns 22.
Avid MexiCali fan and Wharton senior Connor Milliken was overheard today ordering lunch from the local food truck, and boy did he really lean into a Spanish pronunciation of “quesadilla.” Witnesses report that he did “some kind of accent,” which one onlooker described as “hard to place, but definitely not cool.”
In a shocking turn of events, reports are coming out that 'HamCo', the name of an apartment complex that many believed to be an abbreviation of Hamilton Court, is actually short for Ham Company.
This just in: Now that fall is officially upon us, that guy who wears the same Adidas hoodie every day can “finally start dressing.”
I love a good flat white. I love that it’s foamy and tastes kind of like a cappuccino, and I love that it… has milk in it? Right?