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As a part of the Administration’s decision to shift to virtual instruction to contain the COVID-19 virus, all examinations for the Spring semester will be administered through the online collaborative learning platform Kahoot.
Penn men’s basketball received sanctions from the NCAA on Wednesday for the bribery scandal involving former coach Jerome Allen and now must play all games wearing roller skates for two years.
After a wild outing with the senior class in Atlantic City, it appears President Amy Gutmann has gambled away the University's entire endowment.
Uh oh! You've been logged out of your iCloud account. But no worries — of course you know your password. Or do you? Take this quiz to find out!
The Pew Research Center has completed a landmark study which found that over half of Americans say “pew pew” when firing an imaginary gun, with “pew pew pew” and “pew” coming in second and third respectively.
The Mask and Wig Club, a private club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, founded in 1889, is the oldest all-male collegiate musical comedy troupe in the United States. Here is an inside look into the minds behind the production.
Last night at dinner, I was having my son Daniel reenact bits by my favorite stand-up comedians, and let me tell you: he was a riot. He performs them perfectly, just like Jerry Seinfeld. Daniel's grandmother and I could not stop laughing!
Members of Wharton sophomore David List’s marketing class thought everything was in order for their group meeting scheduled for Sunday at 1 P.M. until he hit them with a curveball that brought it all crashing down.
The grandparents of Jacob Fitzman (C ’23) gleamed with pride when their precious grandson informed them that he was currently participating in advanced registration for Spring classes. In only a matter of minutes, the entire Fitzman family had received calls to hear the news.
A second telling of a poor joke in a math lecture last Tuesday confirmed for many that their classmate, Brad Carr (W ’22), is not funny, something they had suspected from day one.
Is this a little weird? Last Thursday night, in a discussion about plans for the future among his hall, Perry Yates (C ’23) of Dayton, Ohio confidently declared that he was pursuing a career in urology. Other students expressed interest in finance or social work, but Yates seemed to be dead set on urology. Hm. Kind of weird.
Hey, Penn. I’m going to share my opinion about something sex-related. Here’s the problem: some people think and behave a certain way, and it’s not right. You know how I know it’s not right? Because I’ve had sex.
The University has stated that Greek housing will not be open to sophomores beginning with the class of 2024, angering one of Penn’s most important demographics: people with rich parents. Critics have also accused the University of trying to scam more money from students, which one would never expect from a school that charges its students $5000 for an unlimited hamburger subscription.
Everyone knows you just have to leave campus once in a while. If you don’t, you can’t condescendingly tell others which of Philly’s hip new bars you’ve "visited." But leaving campus takes time and energy, so what if you just lied? Here are five Philly bars you can name drop to let others know you’re not like other Penn kids.
The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture (PDA) is asking for help in the eradication of a new invasive species plaguing the state, requesting that citizens quickly and mercilessly murder anyone they see biking on the sidewalk.
Biology professor Gary Reed’s students were pleasantly surprised when he interrupted his own lecture on cell division to complain about the outcome of the previous night’s Phillies game. A well-respected scientist discussing an everyday topic relevant to all students — all students meaning roughly 20% of the lecture hall.
It’s the fifth basement show of the month, and this time you promised your friend you’d stay for all of the bands, even if the moshing skater behind you spilled beer on your shoes, which happened last time and, much to your pleasure, was an excuse to leave.
In response to the controversial remarks by Penn Law professor Amy Wax, in which the previously-sanctioned faculty member stated that the United States would benefit from fewer non-white immigrants, Penn Administration reiterated that the University follows a "medium-tolerance" policy on racism, and as a result Wax will not be punished for her statements.
God damn it. The professor just told your class that your second midterm is cumulative, going all the way back to Lecture 1. What was Lecture 1? The scientific method or something? Wait — does the procedure go before or after the hypothesis? Fuck, who knows.