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Date Title

Op-Ed: Why Gentrification Is Okay When I Do It

(06/23/21 3:06pm)

In the 20th century, America experienced urban white depopulation simultaneous to an influx in white suburban populations. However, recently, many white people are returning to the city in droves because of the nagging boredom inherent to suburban living. As they move back into the city, white people drive up housing costs in underdeveloped neighborhoods, replacing native residents with neoliberal urban amenities like gastropubs and cat cafés.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2021/06/gentrification-is-okay

No, Seriously. Why Is Every TA Hot?

(02/26/21 3:58pm)

I’m just curious about if it’s a University policy to only allow hotties to become teaching assistants. It seems too consistent a pattern to not have any sort of institutional backing. If not, then where do they all come from? Does Amy Gutmann herself hand select each chiseled jawline, each perfect cheekbone, each luscious lock? Why are there so many of them? Does she breed them in the basement of College Hall, like dogs? Dogs with the eyes of angels and the jawlines of Adonises? Dogs with beaming smiles and the time management skills of a pro-league referee?

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2021/02/every-ta-is-hot

Five Subtle Ways to Signal That You Are Involved With Greek Life

(02/24/21 3:20am)

In these times of social distancing, the last thing anyone wants to see on their timelines is a picture or video bunch of people hanging out. It is viscerally eerie at this point to see any representation of any number of people convened indoors, especially if they don’t have masks on. Sometimes it feels like no one on social media even knows that we’re living through a global pandemic.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2021/02/signal-you-are-in-greek-life

Um, I'm Confused: What's So Funny About 69ing?

(10/10/20 4:53pm)

Within the past decade, there’s been an uptick in jokes about the number 69. The joke is a reference to the sex position where two participants engage in oral sex with each other simulatenously, their forms resembling a sideways represention of the number 69. The jokes are a simple acknowledgment of the number, simply followed by the word, “Nice.”

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2020/10/im-confused-whats-funny-69

Tips for Perfect Mental Health: Don't Go to Therapy

(10/01/20 3:43am)

As summer fades into fall, many of us are struggling to adjust to this new, virtual school year. Fears of COVID-19 loom over our heads. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to make new in-person connections, and many people are feeling more lonely than ever. Under the Button cares about the mental health of its readership, so we’ve unanimously decided to share our biggest secret for perfect mental health.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2020/10/dont-go-to-therapy