Frats to Introduce Extreme Vetting for St. Patty's Weekend
(03/17/17 6:10pm)
A fraternity without borders is not a fraternity.
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A fraternity without borders is not a fraternity.
If only all dioceses could be this awesome.
Abandon all hope, ye who live in the Northeast.
Each spring, every blog and website will blast out "8 GREAT ALTERNATIVE SPRING BREAK LOCATIONS, YOU WONT BELIEVE NUMBER 6"! With this in mind, we realized that there were so many lists of alternative spring break ideas, but somehow very few lists of alternative-right spring break ideas. Here are the top 7 spring break locations for the new right!
Much like everyone else this year, you've only seen one of the nine Best Picture nominees, and it was probably La La Land. As the Academy Awards unfold, here are some things that you can say very loudly so that the people around you think that you know literally something about film.
Glee, you thought that we wouldn't respond?
Here it is, everyone. We finally got our hands on a section of President Trump's transcript, and the contents are sure to make some waves. Check out his junior year transcript below, and we'll try to find his senior year transcript as soon as we can.
There are some things worse than death.
We at UTB were feeling the love on Valentine's Day and decided to send our favorite publication, The Statesman, a love letter through the DP. For years now, we've had kind of a crush on The Statesman. After all, they are on the RIGHT side of the story. We decided it was time to make the first move. Below is our flirtatious first encounter.
Chase McIntyre's (C'21) stomach churned last Friday during the ConnectED event. Just two short months ago, McIntyre was accepted via Early Decision, legally binding him to attend Penn. The ConnectED program was meant to introduce McIntyre both to Penn and to his new classmates, further exciting him for the fall.
Our staff has no idea what onions are, but they each took a bite out of one to find out. How will they feel about this new food?
At approximately 1:18 Monday afternoon, Julia Cadere (SEAS '18) left her comfortably cramped apartment on the 4100 block of Pine to get to her BEPP 250 lecture Steinberg-Dietrich Hall. The commute was routine and ordinary, until tragedy befell the unsuspecting engineer.
When UTB stumbled upon a recent interview with Gutmann entitled "UPenn President Amy Gutmann on What Gives Her Energy and the Many Books That Changed Her Life", we thought that it would serve as great insight into our president's love for literature.
Earlier this evening, President Amy Gutmann delivered a powerful speech decrying Trump's immigration executive order, marking the first time that Gutmann has taken a strong stance on anything. Immediately after the speech, Gutmann was seen beginning to pulsate with unspeakable power.
A few short weeks ago, UTB broke an eye-opening story regarding the DP's lack of Furda photos. While Furda's safety has been confirmed in the mean time via Twitter, the DP continues the charade. Dishonest media!
You're walking down Locust when suddenly you're accosted by some "Christian" maniac who's screaming some garbage targeted at gays, jews, muslims-- you get the picture. He yells angrily about how you like to drink, get high, have sex, and watch porn. Is he wrong about this? Probably not, but he's still a POS.
The election has claimed yet another victim. College sophomore Luca Alveoli has decided to take up smoking cigarettes in response to the inauguration of the 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump.
Russia has been winning a lot over the past year and now they can add PennApps to the list! Penn's semiannual hackathon, which starts tomorrow, has already found its winner thanks to the Kremlin. UTB has been granted exclusive access to reports from various University offices, which all agree that Russia has been interfering with PennApps throughout the past few months to ensure victory.
Things just don't work out every once in a while. Sometimes, you're on your way to your wicked sweet mini golf night for rush and the bus you're taking breaks down somewhere in Jersey. Other times, Fro Gro runs out of cups for beer pong. If your rush event needs replacing on the spot, here are a few ideas to help you pull through.
Natural Light, or "Natty Light" as the kids call it, is well known on college campuses. It's cheap. It's mildly alcoholic. Legally, it's beer. What you might not know is that its Wikipedia page is absolutely bonkers.