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Date Title

Hysteria in Bathroom: Freshman Can’t Find Start of Toilet Paper

(10/24/19 6:20pm)

From the hallway, you could hear cries of fear and anguish. Sitting on the toilet in a stuffy dorm bathroom, College freshman Thomas Kraper had just finished his morning defecation. To his dismay, the large roll of industrial toilet paper had not yet been started. A nervous sweat broke on his palms and brow. In college, one can no longer expect the luxury of easily-startable toilet paper like one would at home.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/hysteria-in-bathroom-cant-find-toilet-paper

Students Reserve Group Study Room to Study Individually Together

(10/20/19 4:19pm)

In an effort to squeeze a social life into the Penn academic schedule, students have begun to reserve group study rooms just to study individually together.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/individually-studying-in-group-study-room

Penn Females Boycott Parties, Shutting down Ratios and Party Culture

(10/20/19 4:46pm)

For the past few weeks, Penn’s female students have gone on party strike and boycotted all parties, on and off-campus.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/female-party-boycott

Hill Dining Hall to Open Food Truck

(10/15/19 1:21pm)

In an effort to reduce glacial lines and overcrowding at Hill Dining Hall, Penn Dining will open a food truck on the Hill lawn.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/hill-dining-food-truck

New College House West to Be Built out of Cardboard

(10/09/19 6:35pm)

In an expected move to cut costs, Penn will be partnering with Amazon to construct New College West. The new dorm building, which will be designed by famed 6-year-old architect Calvin and his associate Hobbes, will be built using materials supplied by Amazon@Penn. For instance, walls and structural elements will be constructed with cardboard and fastened with postage tape; recycling bins will be used as toilets.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/new-college-house-west-cardboard

With Vocal Fry, Student Thinks He Is More Sophisticated

(10/01/19 1:45am)

To lift his low self-worth and self-image, Wharton freshman Lowe Istem has decided to start dropping his voice into a lower register as he speaks, in a move colloquially known as vocal frying.

https://www.underthebutton.com/article/2019/10/vocal-fry-student-sophisticated