OP-ED: There’s No Chance That I’m Gonna Catch Feelings, but There Is Definitely a Chance I Catch the Mumps
Yo so we’ve been DFMOing here for a while now, wanna come back to my place?
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Yo so we’ve been DFMOing here for a while now, wanna come back to my place?
Jack Stevenson (C ‘19) really regrets leaving the Physical World requirement until senior year. With GEOL 103 and ASTR 001 closed, Stevenson will be forced to learn actual physics next semester or else have to take an extra semester to graduate.
Woah! There goes Josh Reed (C '20) trying to relive his childhood luster again.
Statistics professor Dan Swanson was not shocked to learn that just 7.44% of applicants for the Class of 2023 were admitted to Penn. According to the professor, the number aligns perfectly with his prediction that by 2050, Penn may not even admit a single member of the human species.
After nearly four years of driving autocorrect crazy, The Collctve has gotten its final vowels.
Did you know that Verizon leads the nation in every conceivable category? Best coverage, best customer service, best plans. Hell, they’re now the best man at your wedding, whether you like it or not.
I’ll keep this short. This Devin Wasserman kid is a little punk.
Matt Comonson (C ‘21) was sitting in the front row of his PSCI 183 recitation last Thursday when a light bulb went off in his head during a discussion about the U.S.’s decision to enter World War II.
Ah, roommates. Can't live with them — can't afford rent without them. Below are five things your roommate probably says before he steals from you in broad daylight.
Bradley Shazer (C ‘22), a CHEM 001 student, impressed his professor Dr. Richard Mackey last Monday when he was able to instantly convert any metric weight into its imperial equivalent.
I nearly changed my mind about wealthy Penn alumni sending their children to private schools after reading the two editorials written about public schools in the Daily Pennsylvanian last week.
Daniel Kauffman (W ‘20) was a straight-A student until his fateful trip to CVS for some late night study snacks.
2018 was a fantastic year for music. From trap music to trap-influenced pop to trap-inspired EDM to trap-flavored rock, last year really had it all.
I’d never been ghosted by a robot, but I guess there are firsts for everything. This is my story.
Religious Studies professor David Kemp is an eclectic man, and, as such, he doesn’t always use the most scientific measures to come to his interpretations of the word of God. His latest finding is just one of a string of odd readings of the Book of Genesis. Based on a hunch, he has proven that God made Eve to improve Adam’s ratio in Eden.
Dan Caulfield, a high school senior from White Plains, experienced a double whammy of emotions last night while browsing through Penn’s drug policy on the school’s website.
76ers star Ben Simmons’s night out at Penn apparently ended with a trip to the hospital after multiple Sixers fans heckled the second-year player. Wednesday night the Sixers point guard was spotted at City Tap House with his girlfriend Kendall Jenner enjoying a nice stout after defeating the San Antonio Spurs 122-120.
Cole Webster (C ‘20) thought that all hope was lost when he lost his phone, and thereby his ability to access Duo Mobile. Without the app, Webster could not access Canvas to submit his HIST 209 essay, since he could not sufficiently prove to his computer that he himself was not also a computer trying to hack into Webster’s account.
So you’re studying in one of your favorite spots — the kick drums on your "House Bangerz" playlist are bumping loud enough that everyone can hear, you’re sipping your Hydroflask full of coffee, switching rhythmically between Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter — the usual.
It was hour eight of an all-nighter, and College sophomore Dan Devine was ready to give up. He hadn’t shown up to his PSYC 170 class since mid-September and with the final in the morning, he knew his ass was grass. That was unless he could devise some sort of ruse to trick the system.