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(02/19/15 4:09pm)
As we all enter stage 3 of mourning the tragedy of Jon Stewart leaving the Daily Show, we can take a temporary reprieve next week when Jessica Williams graces Penn with her presence. No, not that Jessica Williams. The actual, real life, Queen Bee of the Daily Show (sorry, Sam Bee) will be rolling in to Huntsman next Saturday to talk about her work on the Daily Show, important current issues, how short Jon Stewart is in real life, etc.
(02/11/15 3:43pm)
With pot decriminalization and a new bike share program on their way, Quakers can begin to fantasize that Philly is actually transforming into Amsterdam and we will soon be frolicking over canals with stroopwafels in hand.
(02/04/15 4:00pm)
You truly don't know what you got till it's gone. Chili's is leaving University City, and with it go our dreams of ever actually, potentially, possibly eating there. We extend our best wishes to those who will really suffer from this shocking news, the employees of Atlantis who will have to move their lunch break to Boston Market.
(01/31/15 7:36pm)
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Penn prof Barry Kaufman has uncovered some foolproof ways to boost your sex appeal. All you have to do is drop out of engineering, casually pick up a contact sport, and propose a spontaneous road trip to your ideal date!
(01/27/15 11:00pm)
Another day, another service that will bring us one step closer to making moving our limbs utterly obsolete.
(01/23/15 7:46pm)
Just as the sorrow of classes starting washes over the student body, the Wawa gods have blessed us with another reason to love them. Wawa is introducing a rewards app which will allow you to pay with preloaded gift cards, eliminating the need to bashfully pay for $1 coffee with a debit card.
(08/20/14 7:36pm)
In the endless drama of college rankings based upon completely arbitrary metrics, sometimes Penn fares well and sometimes it doesn't. Rarely, though, are we presented with headlines as baffling as this one. Upon discovery that Penn was ranked "most polite" on a list based entirely upon the frequency of "please" and "thank you's" in GrubHub instructions, things started to make a lot more sense.
(07/05/14 10:16pm)
Sometimes Philly Mag publishes upsetting articles, in which they say we're cheap jerks or have a drinking problem. It hurts, but as we attend to our wounds we can admit to ourselves that there may be nibbles of truth in that commentary. But this time, Philly Mag's "Fighting Words" section has published all-out libel: a condemnation of Wawa worship.
(06/19/14 10:25pm)
The Baltimore Avenue Dollar Stroll -- is happening from NOW until 8:30 p.m. So head on over to Baltimore between 42nd and 50th and reacquaint yourself with the area (as you probably haven't meandered there since the 49th and Baltimore Liquor Store became obsolete) by snagging some $1 deals from Little Baby's Ice Cream, Aksum, Dock Street Brewing Co., and more.
(06/02/14 7:09pm)
This wedding procession was spotted traipsing down a hopefully squirrel-free Locust yesterday afternoon, drawing a collective "Awwww" from all 13 people currently on campus. Luckily, wedding season doesn't overlap much with every-performance-group-ever-having-a-show week at Penn, otherwise this couple might not have had such a harassment-free procession. While we don't know where this party ended up, we can only hope that the newlyweds used the Button as a chuppah on their blissful day. Congratulations!
(05/19/14 12:36am)
Sup, jerks. This week's reminder that some fellow Quakers are fairly scummy comes from Philadelphia Magazine. According to the mag's account, one stumbling Walnut Walk-er ordered kamikazes at a busy bar (annoying), accidentally paid with two hundred-dollar bills (unsurprising), and then proceeded to tip the hard-working bartender only 40 cents (straight up terrible).
(05/08/14 5:36pm)
In the media firestorm following Monday night's Met Ball Gala, Humans of New York posted a picture of John Legend and his wife Christine Teigen, captioned with the revelation that John once broke up with her for a day (maybe that's how this happened?). While we were just shocked to see John Legend existing outside the realm of Amy G's Snapchat best friends, Facebook commenters went berserk for a whole host of different reasons. Here, UTB breaks down the public's reaction to this apparently controversial shot.
(04/29/14 2:13pm)
You're already a sophomore and you haven't come up with a super original, totally innovative start-up yet? Your opportunity to finally become relevant while rising to the ranks of food royalty like Le Anh and Cute HubBub guy is knocking.
(04/24/14 5:28pm)
As you're no longer a 9-year-old looking to skip school, you may not be aware that today is National Take Our Daughters and Sons To Work Day. Penn will be participating in TODASTWD by welcoming employees' offspring all through campus today. UTB decided to put ourselves in their tiny, annoying, tiny shoes by considering a kid's perspective on a day here at dear ole Penn.
(04/19/14 8:42pm)
This week's People Who Went To Penn is a l'il bit obscure and a whole lot of fun. Nicholas Biddle was a banker and diplomat in the early 19th century whose father was BFFs with Ben Franklin since the Revolution. As a financier with Penn connections from Daddy, he was basically your typical Quaker.
(04/10/14 8:52pm)
Amidst all the rumors and outrage, Fling and actual spring weather have finally arrived! UTB is putting aside our "Free Fling" protest signs to give you an extensive guide for this weekend. Here's how to push through 4 p.m. hangovers, Bouncy castle-induced nausea, and narc paranoia to live Fling to the fullest.
(04/03/14 9:19pm)
Quakers have just begun to recover from the despair and disappointment of last week. While we all put on a brave face, the mood on campus was pervasive. We were under-poultried, over-barbacoa’d, and just plain hurt. Amidst the campus-wide recovery, UTB takes a critical look at last week’s Chipotle chicken shortage, breaking down the crisis day by day.
(03/30/14 12:00am)
Political drama at Penn is hardly a new phenomenon, as Penn alum and political consultant Frank Luntz knows. This well-known politico studied History and Political Science at Penn before going on to receive his Ph.D. in politics from Oxford University. Luntz regularly appears on shows including the Colbert Report, Good Morning America, and Meet the Press, and also writes op-eds for publications like the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal.
(03/22/14 5:52pm)
All semester, Quakers waited with bated breath for the artists to be announced as the rumor mill churned out new theories each week. And no, we're not talking Fling, but rather that other spring concert. SPEC-TRUM Presents: The Owl Pharaoh Beach Honeymoon Concert featuring Topaz Jones, Travis Scott and TY$ will be on April 5th in Irvine.
(03/05/14 3:55pm)
Remember freshman year? You didn't have to brave the cold to see any of your friends (sorry, peasants of Hill), your writing seminar portfolio was your biggest worry, and you had to kiss Ben Franklin's boot before receiving your freshman button, as this faithful frosh of the Class of 1955 is pictured doing here. Clearly, some Penn Traditions come and go and we're kinda glad that this one is gone for good. (Besides the fact that it involved buttons. Bring back the buttons.) Nevertheless, it appears that the tradition of paying our respects to B-Frank will eternally live on.