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(09/03/20 6:03pm)
Hey, scientists! I know you're working super hard right now and I totally get that — we are in a gosh darn global pandemic! This pandemic has been pretty tough on everyone. For example, the other day I made soup and it took a long time. So frustrating! :/
(08/11/20 6:35pm)
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
(02/13/20 3:00am)
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has secured the safety of the American public once again.
(02/05/20 5:56am)
BREAKING: Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Engagement, a foreign affairs-focused policy center founded by Presidential candidate and Penn alum Joseph R. Biden, has endorsed Bernie Sanders for President.
(01/31/20 8:37pm)
Last year, UTB alumnus David Akst took it upon himself to save the Penn population from the classic midterm essay slump and gave the masses twelve free sentences to use for literally any paper that could possibly get assigned.
(01/16/20 3:32am)
The Mask and Wig Club, a private club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, founded in 1889, is the oldest all-male collegiate musical comedy troupe in the United States. Here is an inside look into the minds behind the production.
(01/16/20 3:21am)
We're going to take Locust today. It's going to be fine.
(11/14/19 4:30pm)
Oh hey! Yeah, so nice to meet you. What type of stuff do you do on campus? I’m in Kite and Key. Oh, you’re in a comedy group! That’s so sick. You must be really funny then! Tell me a joke. Haha, just kidding, unless…
(11/09/19 5:40pm)
After an evening of making the case for why Elizabeth Warren could never win the Democratic nomination and using her phone flashlight to see the menu in a restaurant, Stephanie’s mom reached peak Boomer status.
(11/09/19 5:35pm)
Boomer alert!
(10/31/19 2:00pm)
Hey! Yeah, happy Halloween to you too! Love your cat costume. It’s super cute that you’re a cat – I love cats! From your puzzled look, I can tell that you’re having a litttttle trouble figuring out my costume. It’s totally cool that you don’t get it – it’s a super obscure reference, from a show actually!
(10/28/19 2:05pm)
Hi-ya! Former yellow-belt Daniel Simpson (W ’21) really showed career services advisor Dr. Eva Matthews who’s boss.
(10/22/19 4:52pm)
Hey! You over there. In carrel 3206. 'Tis I, the person who has reserved this carrel.
(10/18/19 6:01pm)
In an article earlier this month, the Daily Pennsylvanian reported that the renowned Penn Museum was “rebrand[ing] itself as a ‘gift to the city’ after recent renovations.” Upon further investigation, UTB staff found that, along with its new "gift to the city" status, the Penn Museum is also to rebrand itself as “interesting,” and “worth the really far walk to it.”
(10/06/19 1:22pm)
The past few weeks have been filled with demonstrations to draw attention to the current climate crisis facing the world. From Fossil Free Penn’s demonstrations at College Hall to the Philadelphia-wide walkouts last week, there are many opportunities to go out and show your support for a greener future.
(09/29/19 5:37pm)
Jenny Chow (W ’20) is making waves in the world of film photography. Inspired by the photo surrealism movement of the early 20th century, Jenny decided to pick up a Fujifilm disposable to take cute pics of her friends drinking various types of spiked seltzer.
(09/11/19 2:22pm)
In the past few weeks, Penn’s rat community has been flourishing. They were singlehandedly responsible for a brief closure of the Fresh Grocer, caused many a scare in various sorority dwellings, and have a whole new group of fresh meat to harass throughout the quad. Despite a few battles lost to booby traps, the fall of 2019 has been an epoch of tremendous rat success.
(09/07/19 6:47pm)
With one week of classes under her belt, College freshman Sophie Cordova is realizing college isn’t exactly what she thought it was. After five days of switching back and forth between amazon-priming the perfect array of throw pillows for her new twin XL bed and getting belligerently drunk while jumping up and down to Body by Luxury in the afternoon heat, reality started to creep in.
(07/30/19 2:42am)
Various nations around the globe have seen record-breaking temperatures over the past few weeks. From a scorching 108 degrees in Paris to a balmy 91 in Manhattan, the planet sure is cooking.
(05/03/19 4:36pm)
Ugh! Sarah has gotten herself into a pickle yet again.