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Making good on
their promise of much-needed improvements on campus, administrators
were thrilled to announce on Friday that Huntsman Hall will be undergoing
renovations throughout the 2018-2019 school year. Frustrated that plumbing
allotments from past years’ capital campaigns were funneled toward the Rodin
flood and fixing the sink next to Makuu, several donors threatened to withhold
support until conditions in Huntsman are improved.
Wake up, America! It’s 8:40 and you need to be downstairs,
clothed, and have your contacts in by 8:45 if you want to get to Survey of the Universe on time.
operations in the Penn Museum have been suspended due to an ongoing sit in
protest organized by Fossil Free Penn. Over 30 members strong, the group of
protesters from the prominent activist club is disrupting museum activity by
occupying the archaeology wing. Club president Alanna Gore (C ‘19) issued a
statement to the UTB, claiming that the protest, despite any disciplinary
action taken by administrators, “will not end until every last bone in the
museum is released.”
He’s hot, he’s the It Boy in your cohort, and he’s a future titan of industry. It only makes sense that you want to impress him in the bedroom! Be careful, though, ladies. Not every Wharton guy is into the same kinks you are. Next time a Huntsman Hunk asks you to call him Uncle Sam in the bedroom, try one of these tips to refuse without ruining the mood:
It’s true what they say about musicians. My little drummer boy
knows how to bang bang bang. The best part? We get to do it unprotected thanks
to a little something called the rhythm method.
From frat boys
to finance bros, many men at Penn are regularly classified as trash. Though it may be tempting to use
a man once and throw him away, Penn students now have an exciting new alternative.
Members of PennGreen hope to beautify our campus and better the environment by
offering a new solution to the problem of men: compost.
Juul: it’s the oral fixation that’s sweeping the nation, and now there’s evidence that it’s an even more juvenile habit than we thought.
It started out
so innocent, so innocuous.
In the immortal words of Future: “Fuck it, mask off.”