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Oh no! Greg Gregson (W '19) forgot his headphones today. To add insult to injury, he had just made a Spotify playlist with that new Chainsmokers song Closer on it. How did he survive the lengthy commute from The Radian to Huntsman without blasting some sick tunes?
Hours 1-3: Wow! I noticed it's pretty quiet in here. I also noticed that a lot of people around me have Warby Parker glasses and messenger bags. Other than the one guy who doesn't realize his music is so loud it's bleeding from his headphones, there isn't much activity yet.
Impressive! Penn students have abused Wawa's benevolent "free water" policy so severely that Wawa will no longer offer free water to its patrons.
The Ego of the Week this week is the Rumor nightclub mop. UTB sat down with the mop and heard all about the mop's role in the bustling Philadelphia clubbing scene, the mop's passions, and more!
As we move through February, the days will get longer and temperatures will start to creep up. This means that blanket scarf season is slipping away as quickly as it came. I know you're all thinking of the question that naturally follows the news that blanket scarf szn is ending: where will I hide my face now when I feel uncomfortable?
Uh oh! Sarah Steinberg (C '21) decided to scratch her head at the exact moment her professor asked the class if they had any questions.
Wow—it sure sounds loud outside for 2 am on a cold winter night! It seems impossible that humans could be making such a ruckus outside at this time. The sound must be occurring because you, like 15% of the U.S. population, have tinnitus, NOT because a pack of loud frat boys are yelling at the moon, right? Wrong. Despite what logic tells you, it's unclear whether your tinnitus or members of a nearby fraternity are causing the noise. Take this quiz to figure out which it is.
Is all the back-to-school hullaballoo making you stressed? Here are four meditation exercises that won't actually reduce your stress, but might make you sound cool.
With temperatures averaging in the 30s this past week, it's safe to say that it's cold outside. That means one thing and one thing only: you now officially have permission to look like one of those dog sled operators.
Are you dreading studying for finals? No need to worry! Here's one distraction that will eternally divert your attention: texting your ex. Here's how you can do it:
Remarkable! Alex Novak (C'18) somehow finds a way to reveal her privileged socioeconomic status every single time she participates in class.
If you visit the 39th Street Beiler's location tomorrow, be sure to say the word "turtle" at the time of checkout. If you do, a hefty 2% of your entire order will go toward Save the Turtles, a fund that attempts to return the Biopond turtles to their rightful home.
Did you finish all ten of your free New York Times articles for the month, but it's only December 3rd? That's okay! Here are a few other news outlets that could function as alternatives for the rest of the month:
Are you enrolled in a poetry class this semester but unsure about how to command the respect you deserve?
It seems like Penn cares an awful lot about the Campus PULSE survey, but what I really need is for the institution I attend to express at least a fraction of that interest in me.
Who would have thought? When one student cracked a joke about Louis C.K. in class, he was shocked to see that not everyone liked it.
Inspiring! Young Penn alums working in tech on the "Young Penn Alums in Tech" panel unanimously agreed that "there isn't one path" to making it big in the tech world.
Although it has been less than five months since 2017 College graduate Becky Abrams left Penn, she reported feeling peculiar upon returning to campus for Homecoming weekend.
Wow! Facebook just made headlines, adding an "Actually Going" option to the site's existing event response options.
Freaky! Aleah Spencer (C' 19) is somehow a remarkably bad communicator despite also being a Communication major.