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President of Penn Democrats Declares Bid for Presidency, Citing 'Issues' and 'Problems'

(04/05/19 1:51pm)

Joining an already-crowded pool of politicians vying for their party’s nomination, president of Penn Democrats Joshua Silverman (C '20) declared Monday his intentions to run for the most powerful office in world, citing the presence of “issues” and “problems” in the government, as well as “things that are not going well.”

Spring Break Group Who Forgot to Plan Trip Ahead Arrives at Fifth Museum of the Day

(03/05/19 8:18pm)

After buying their plane tickets to Berlin and booking their Airbnb, Philip Bickman (C ’21) and his five friends sat back and relaxed. They agreed to meet up again at some point to sort out the activities and destinations for each day. But a month went by without a mention of the trip, and Jared had a midterm when they wanted to meet, so they decided to just “figure it out” when they get there.

Only Cockroaches and Engineering Student Wearing T-Shirt in 20-Degree Weather Will Survive Nuclear Holocaust

(02/26/19 3:05pm)

A new paper published by the Biology department projects that Engineering junior Zach Fleischman is the only living creature aside from cockroaches that could survive a nuclear holocaust. The paper bases its conclusion upon the fact that Fleischman was seen donning a Penn Engineering T-shirt in 20-degree weather last week.

Brave: Senior Drinks Multiple Times a Week Despite Deteriorating Physical Health

(02/20/19 4:36pm)

Senior year carries with it tropes of burning out and being washed up. Former type-A students start earning Ds, and ex-socialites can barely stay up past 11. However some, like Andie Adkins (C ’19), have courageously continued their quests of drinking multiple times a week despite the tremendous toll it takes on their physical health.

Ja Rule Hired by SPEC to Deliver Bahamian Fling

(01/31/19 2:06pm)

After student objections to its chosen lineup for Spring Fling in 2018, Penn’s Social Planning and Events Committee (SPEC) has opted to think a little bigger this year, recruiting rapper and entrepreneur Ja Rule to put on an “experience of a lifetime” in the Bahamas. SPEC was reportedly sold on the idea after a two-minute, “life-changing” pitch.