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If you couldn't tell from the sudden spike in tracksuits on campus, the Penn Relays are officially here. In the same spot where you stood/stumbled/fell last Friday, runners are now breaking world records. Whatta comparison. Since we're never going to be faster than Usain Bolt, here are few things we wish were.
The first week after Fling is a special time for all. It’s a time to reflect: What a wonderful Fling you had! So many memories! It’s a time to regret: Did I really need to take that last shot? Or sleep with that guy? And why did we think THIS DESIGN was original?
With the beginning of Fling comes the age-old dilemma of choosing which parties to attend. Where’s the best place to see your friends? Where’s the best place to roll? Most importantly, which parties won’t get quickly shut down?
If there's any artist equipped with the lyrical range to capture Fling's emotional/physical roller coaster, it's Ke$ha. Kesha's okay too. Here, we (with the help of Google images) give you all the Ke$ha lyrics you need to channel your inner $ through the highs and lows of Fling.
Amid swirling rumors that AXO was revoking their charter and going off campus, some sisters were not willing to go quietly into the scene. According to the bylaws, AXO cannot revoke its charter without a unanimous vote, which…didn’t happen.
It's hump day. It's Wednesday. IT'S HERE. If you're one of the chosen few who doesn't have a 9 a.m. recitation tomorrow or a problem set due Friday, then FLING. HAS. FLUNG. Follow along as we count down the 100 kinds of people you'll inevitably see in the Quad, at Franklin Field, next to you in bed, or with their heads in your toilet, from now until Saturday night (Sunday morning?).
Flyerers. You know 'em. You (probably don't) love 'em. And, at the end of the day, you can't really get rid of them. So instead we've decided to give some suggestions. Follow this advice and we just might make eye contact with you next time we're on Locust.
Ah, Greek life. Causing controversy and stirring up emotions left and right for decades. Yes, that’s right, decades. Leaked email threads, rebellious individuals, and just absurd exhibitionism displayed by Penn students is just a lot to contend with.
Rumors are just rumors, but now it’s official: Alpha Chi Omega has decided to go off campus, joining the likes of Penn's notorious Tabard, Theos, Oz and Apes. After various allegations against the chapter, the sorority voted to revoke their charter in lieu of accepting the sanctions headed their way.
Photo cred to Jaclyn Chu (and @GomianKonneh on Twitter) who, understandably, was probably too shy to get a better pic. It seems like just yesterday that a 12 year-old Malia Obama was at daddy B's inauguration—and today, she's checkin' out Penn for college next year. So, MALIA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, here are 15 reasons why we think you should choose Penn:
By now you're probably aware that Penn's campus has its very own Snapchat story. Unfortunately, it was off to a rocky start yesterday considering that, like, 80% of the approved snaps on day one were of Drexel students complaining about finals (in March?). So we thought we'd jump in and lay out a few guidelines for the entity in charge of running that thing. After all, we care about how Penn is portrayed to ourselves.
Stranded on campus for the interminable 9 days that are Spring Break? UTB's got you covered. Here are several ways that you can bring the glamour of a ski/beach destination or the aura of your parent's couch to West Philly.
A new indie film, Infinitely Polar Bear, is about to bring Huntsman Hijinks to Hollywood. Zoe Saldana stars as a mother of two trying to get her Wharton MBA while coping with a complicated family life with husband Mark Ruffalo. While the trailer does appear heart-wrenching, we do have some hope for an appearance of some Wharton classics: Bridge Café egg sandwiches, hanging out at Smokes, and maybe some College students trying to print.
What a weird month. Only 28 days! You did Week One, Week Two, and Week Three...and now it's time to finish strong. And then start crying because there are fewer than 100 days left of your college career.
If you were cruisin' the Wawa donut case sometime last week, you might have noticed that Management put up and then quickly took down a very serious sign prohibiting pictures and video recordings in the store. Why wouldn't Wawa wawant us to take pictures inside its hallowed halls? We've got some ideas.
Well, the first full week of February is nearing to an end, and all we can say is: February, we DFWU. Seriously, you're cold, you're heartless, AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN A COMPLETE MONTH. Alas, follow along as the number of fucks we give in February steadily decreases.
For the last five years, UTB has been led by dedicated, hilarious, and post-worthy human beings, and Ben Lerner is no exception. Besides his genuine love of the blog and its content, he loved being an integral part of our team, and he will be missed more than he can imagine. Thank you, Ben, for being a supportive, thoughtful leader, for cracking us up every time you speak, and for giving us at UTB a place here at Penn that we love. You’re fabulous, you’re flawless, and we know you’ll always be there for us…in your trailer…with a lawyer present. Absolutely.
Even though you knew the drizzling rain outside is threateningly fatal, this professor goes above and beyond to show care for the safety of her students. So when you accidentally step into a grey pile of almost-slush today, remember: you might get stuck!
On some random day 4 months ago (there were too many posts to scroll back) one Penn applicant created the “UPENN Class of 2019 Applicants” Facebook group, and managed to fill it with 1,400 members (including current Penn students…including us).
Perhaps in a last desperate plea for attention, the UA has come out with a new app, featuring a full campus directory, news, info on Penn Transit, and even menus from campus restaurants. This sounds cool and all, but we have a few bells and whistles in mind that could turn this plain old app into the next Snapshotr: