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To see Penn's creative, dedicated and brave Halloweeners, see this post. To experience some snark, read on; it's UTB After Dark, after all. As previously discussed, sexy cats just weren't going to cut it.
We gained an hour last night, and also there was a partial eclipse! Despite their coolness, these two extraordinary occurrences aint got nothin on the comprehensive costume post-Hallow-coverage UTB has planned for the next couple days.
In honor of Halloweekend, here are our picks for the OOKIEST profs on campus. You still have time to switch in to their classes for Spring 2014!
From the same tipster community who brought you this, here are a couple more dazzlers. Click to enlarge the images. First a little parental control (or lack thereof) from OZ :
Call it UTB After Dark, but we like to get a little naughty when it's late in the evening. Thanks to a savvy tipster, UTB has learned that everyone's favorite ~underground~ frat $tar$ have forgotten to make their listserv group private. We secured the link, blurred out the identifiers, and present them below. Take note: it's pretty expensive to be this eloquent. Click 'em to enlarge 'em. And one for the road...
It's parent's weekend yet again. Along with the campus beautification, dining hall upgrades, and "isn't that just adorable?" crafts come the anxieties of having your parents enter your college world. To make those fears even more real, here are the 10 Things You Don't Want Your Parents To See On Family Weekend.
As the days have grown (somewhat) shorter and the nights (somewhat) colder, you freshmen may have been asking yourselves: why hasn't UTB synthesized the best worst myriad election videos and posters into some kind of roundup? If they don't make fun of everyone, how will I know who to vote for? IS IT NOT ALWAYS THUS???
Some political efficacy to start off your Thursday: presented with minimal comment, here's this table from a UA insider, which shows various statistics about the work of the incumbent UA representatives in the last year, including the number of projects each member actually completed. The data is culled from meeting minutes, which are public information. Click the image for a larger view.
Let's face it, we all love Penn and going away on break isn’t always that easy. So, as you're secretly crying in your hotel room because you miss Dear Old Penn way too much, we have provided you with our list of things to make you “miss” Penn even more. All you have to do is click here.
Welcome to UTB's first Filly Friday post, a feature designed to get you out on the town this weekend! Obviously there's lots of great stuff happing on campus, as usual, but sometimes you need to get away.
My GOODNESS, dost thou feel that blood in thine loins, for it is the Day of Saint Valentine?! We at UTB are pretty confident you all will get some tonight. You've just got that quality that drives them wild. But in case you need a little extra assistance to rise to the task, here are some well-known aphrodisiacs and where on campus to procure them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzZUGpYfOMo&feature=youtu.be
The Perelmans strike again! Ronald Perelman recently made a $25 million dollar donation to create the Ronald O. Perelman Center for Political Science and Economics, a soon-to-be home for the PolySci and Econ departments. Wo0ho0. Amy G. must be thrilled. But what about the rest of us? Let's step back and take a glance at where that money could be going: Rename the Medical School again for another $225 million, this time the RON Perelman School. Free shuttle service to DRL. An Italian food food truck (We're talkin’ penne ala vodka, ravioli, chicken parm—the works. WHY DO WE NOT HAVE AN ITALIAN FOOD FOOD TRUCK?) New APES house. We're sure you feel bad they got kicked off of campus, too. A jacket for the copy-of-the-paper girl who thought it was springgtime when she left her room this morning to hand out the DP. Compensation for all the stolen Houston food. Beyonce for Spring Fling. Ke$ha for Spring Fling. Molly included. Shower heads (that don't scream) in the college houses. Balsamic vinaigrette in McClelland -- because nothing is worse than having to put questionable oil and vinegar on your already questionable salad. Computers that only College kids can access. Or Engineering. Or Nursing. A new Math and Physics building that has no association with David Rittenhouse or laboratories.
Warning: This post is intended for audiences 21 years and older. lol
It's finals time. You're looking for the optimal place to study, but you can't find any more beds carrels in Van Pelt - we're here to help you find some of the niche study spaces on campus, as always. Freshbabies, be attentive!
[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] We all know how the 'Finals' story goes: There once was a glutton who performed gluttony for about two weeks and then got a B-. That being said, campus restaurants capitalize on our gluttonocity by giving us meal deals that just can't be tamed, so our UTB contribz took it upon themselves to seek out the best final exams deals that simply can't be passed up. You're welcome.
Gobble gobble and such, it's Sangskeebing, y'all! We're thankful that it's finally time to put on a nice chunky sweater for granny and shove a Wawa Gobbler down our gullets before waking up at 3 a.m. to grab a "Are you 18+? Then you can Tickle-Me-Elmo" at the local WalMart. Yum-o! But enough about us; what about the rest of campus? We asked some of our favorite people and groups around campus what they were thankful for, and here's what we found:
When I came to Penn, I thought of myself as a poster child for anonymous hookups. As a naive freshman, nothing seemed better, but the trouble with having a bunch of one-night stands began at my freshman year sorority bid party. I started making out with a good-looking guy. I was confident with him, kind of bitchy; it was hot. He asked me to guess which frat he was in, but I couldn't. “You'll see when we go there,” he said. It wasn't a suggestion or a question—and I liked that, because it was obvious I was going home with him. He was teasing, being kind of an asshole. Exactly what I wanted. He never even asked my name.
Seems as though plans for the new University City liquor store at 43rd and Chestnut– you'll recall that it's the one that would replace the porn shop– have fallen through. Unfortunately, the Zoning Board rejected the application, which was the second in five years following an unsuccessful attempt in 2007, as the DP reports. Though some small-business owners welcomed the proposed venture, the West Philadelphia Muslim community protested having a liquor store so close to their mosques.
Ah, the last few hours of class have finally wrapped up, which means you're anxious for Fling to begin! Below, UTB provides you with a breakdown of this weekend's activities. This is obviously by no means a complete list, but rather a sampling of what Fling has to offer. (In other words, we're not tryna rain on anyone's unregistered parade.)