INUN THOS WEKKS CRIMEM LEOG: AGGRAAVATD ASSUAALT AANUD 3 DUIIS
(04/01/19 4:29pm)
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STUDNET HERD FROM INVESTRSR ND ENTRPENRNTU, INTCTERTSTWD WITH PRGOMAM ALINMUN, ND SAW PRENSNTNSINS OF SINOERN STUNDTNT DESIGNSIGN PRJORECSTS.
UNTIED STATES APORTE LAURAT TRACY SMITH SPOKE POLITICALE TECHNO TECNOLG TECHONOLOG CULTURE AT PHILWE MATHEPN SOCIETY. SMITH, WHO BOOK PUBLISH ON AM PHILOMATHEAN SOCIETY ANNUAL ORA TAO ORATION READ POETRY.
This St. Patrick’s Day transformed Penn’s campus into a sea of green, orange and white (frat brothers) to celebrate our boi Saint Patrick (who converted thousands and forcefully exiled the druids from Ireland :/ )!
Early last Monday, College junior Kelly Tanenbaum was tapped for a senior society, but one of the ones where it’s just cool because you’re in a senior society and not one anyone really pines after. According to anonymous sources the society is “fine” and “not really comparable to Friars.”
A hero and medical genius is on the loose at the University of Pennsylvania according to a report from a wounded partygoer after a particularly wild Friday night out.
This spring break, after finally following through on a pipe dream to vacation together, Talia Sanders’ whole girl gang is ready to develop a deep hatred of each other in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico this spring break.
Just moments ago, our very own Claire Sliney, a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences, won an Oscar. Her film Period. End of Sentence. follows a group of girls and women in a rural village outside New Delhi who fight back against India’s deeply rooted stigma surrounding menstruation. The film won an Academy Award for best documentary short subject.
Freshman year of college teaches kids a lot about life: how little sleep they can live off before crashing, how to bullshit one’s way out of everything and anything, and, without fail, the magic of Wawa. But mostly one learns a fact of life that is both daunting and enlightening: the future is uncertain.
There are a lot of things I’d do for a buck — don’t go crazy, though. I just mean like stealing a fork from Commons or something like that { Not to flex, but I’m a pretty good kid ~\_(*L*)_/~ }. There are just some forces in this life to which I refuse to submit myself. Standing proudly at the top position on that list: my writing sem homework.
Assuming the entire seminar of English majors had researched their professor before class, Professor Andrew Kim wanted to make one thing clear, he wasn’t going to talk about his Pulitzer a lot.
Penn students are finding it harder and harder these days to find the time to work out and stay healthy. Between studying for midterms and almost being MERTed, students are having trouble balancing self-care and the myriad detrimental activities they take part in.
Oh, y'all wanted a twist. This year you're not getting one set of UTB Valentines but two!
Why are y'all gagging — we give it to you every Valentine's day.
A report from Penn’s gender studies department confirmed Thursday morning that feminism was sent back 50 years after Friday’s mixer theme announcement.
There are certain rules about dating — or whatever this is (since he’s apparently “not ready for commitment”) — that are unspoken though completely vital to a sustainable relationship.
Despite disrespecting his home state, community, and immediate family last year by hopping on the Eagles bandwagon, College junior Johnny Sullivan thinks that he can publicize his #PatsNation pride this cycle without anyone calling him out on his bullshit.
Dear 69th Street,
In a study done by the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, researchers discovered that the water of a Brita filter, a $20-$30 water filtration device, is so pure that it can offset the physical deterioration that comes with binge-drinking and chain-smoking.
I don’t have a huge superiority complex, just a small one, built one better-than-mediocre action at a time. Brick by brick, as they say. Do I think I’m better than anyone in particular? No, my god, I’m not conceited. Do I think I’m just a bit better than the generalized “everybody”? A little. Here are some reasons why.