This information itself comes from President Donald Trump’s most recent Twitch livestream.

Please remember to keep your umbrellas closed when walking through the wind tunnel; it is a matter of public safety.

“Jokes? What jokes? I don’t write jokes.”

Maybe he's related.... to the Huntsman family...... No, there's no way. It can't be...

Despite leaving them in her charging case for thirty-four minutes prior, her milky white listening devices have failed her. 

Uh-oh… it’s happening again.

“Yeah, now that I think about it, this global pandemic has actually worked out really well for me.” 

Experts have estimated this cure will save at least 100,000 lives worldwide.

Sentano hinted at the possibility of a prohibition-themed mixer that could take place in the near future, but would not confirm anything because, "we don't want anyone else to steal our idea."

Even more apparent was her perfect 1080p 60fps video quality. It was top-of-the-line image perfection with every detail perfectly outlined on camera.

"By visiting others, you could be putting yourself — and your loved ones — at risk, no matter how fun it is to break all your friends' rocks and run around whacking them with a net. Believe me, I know.”

Per medical guidelines, Scorpios will not be allowed on the premises.

College senior Tommy Anderson just got a podcast, and you’re gonna fucking listen to it.

If she had seen the "hey" that you sent four days ago at 3:24 A.M., blind drunk off of eight dollar Pinot Grigio and loneliness, she absolutely would have responded. Right?

Most human-sized hamster balls have a 2-meter diameter, so you'll always be following CDC guidelines!

We emailed Wharton sophomore Justin Verdaux about his perspective on the (fecal) matter.

The United States is as few as five hours behind Italy, and even fewer hours behind other countries.

I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but the time has come for you to take that towel and put it on the floor to be washed a month from now when you get to it. 

Let’s be honest, this is how it is. This is probably going to be downvoted by the 4th floor but everyone knows they’re social climbers.

By midnight, the party was at maximum capacity and the poor west coast students, whose nights were just starting, were locked out from joining in the call.