College senior Andrew Caplan is ready to say hello to 2019 and never look back.

You're as slimy as snake, I see your name and shriek, Mr. CITsender

Although the donation was well-intentioned, a great number of Penn students feel cheated by the once loyal graduate. Chief among these students are freshman who “just wanted Insomnia.”

According to this statement, the roughly 40,000 evaluations were assigned to Steven Fitzgerald, a former student intern at Penn’s Center for Teaching and Learning. 

The two had never met, but one of Bergen’s friends insisted that Brenner was a “pretty ok guy.” Feeling up for an adventure, Bergen accepted the invitation, despite not knowing Brenner and having three finals in the coming two days. 

Wintman feels that people tend to put her in a box: they assume she will not take an intense workload due to her calm personality. However, when she was registering for classes this semester, she decided to break that mold.

According to her fellow classmates, Walkerton counts down to the end of each rehearsal, leaving at that exact time in order to make the different, and often overlapping, time requirements of her different arts groups.

Sarah Rosen, a student admitted from Farmingdale High School, shared with UTB: “Yes, I’m incredibly excited to join the Quaker family! There’s not one other community I’d rather be a part of!

“I just want to pause the music for just like two seconds and break it all down. Like, ‘hey friends, what’s happening here.’”

“For too long we've allowed Santa to be the most vocal spokesperson for fossil fuels,” yelled College junior Caroline Erickson at a sit-in protest.

Somehow, it was almost like two songs were being played at once. And granted, it didn’t sound great. The keys of the two songs didn’t quite mesh well, but goddamnit Liza was just so darned amazed that there were two songs mixed together that she couldn’t care less.

New posters have cropped up since the initial one, but lately the messages have switched from being oddly threatening to just flat out aggressive.

On Friday, Penn’s premiere alt-jazz indie-hop scat-bop k-pop a cappella group Kite and Off-Key stirred up the campus music scene with the release of the recording of their 2006 spring show, Pluton’t You Wanna Make Some Music With Us.

There are a variety of techniques you can use to transport your &Pizza box to its final destination. Each method comes with its own pros and cons — none will be cool.

The three fine arts students created the installation for a final project in hopes of raising awareness that the majority of Penn students have incredibly basic shoe game. 

Instead of providing hairy, mangy pups with slobbery mouths, the College has instead decided to invest in a far more adorable critter: the cockroach.

Physics professor Robert Ryker recently assigned a problem set to his physics 151 lecture that contained no physics problems. Instead, it contained a list of Professor Ryker's personal issues.

45 percent thinner than existing toilet paper, the new design replaces the existing single ply with the equivalent of a half ply.

No longer would she have to fret as the bouncers inspected her fake, which they would hold up to the light while they asked for the capital of Delaware.

DRL Lecture Hall A3 recently went from learning-field to battlefield. As a midterm for Astronomy 533 was well underway, Professor Henry Glack made the critical mistake of leaving the room in the middle of the exam.