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What Being Searched Leaving Van Pelt Taught Me About Walking Around With a Pound of Weed in My Bag

There’s both a short and a long way to share my tale and the lessons it imparted on me. The short way is as follows: why go to Van Pelt with a pound of weed in your bag? Go home and smoke your weed.

An Open Letter to Amy Gutmann: Why the Fuck Is Your Skin So Perfect?

There are images of you from long ago in which you look decades older than you currently do. Is that a result of proper exfoliation and skin-toning, or plastic surgery

What I Learned From Struggling My First Year at Penn and Literally Every Year After That

If there’s one thing that’s harder than struggling after your first year, it’s struggling many more times your second, third, fourth, and if you failed CIS160, your fifth years at Penn.

5 Reasons Why the Walmart Yodeling Kid Should be the Next Penn President

1. He’ll revive Club Penguin for Penn students.