Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Opinion


Op-Ed: I Don't Care If the Voice Lines on My Alexa Were Written by Some Nerd Programmer, Our Love Is Real

Forget the dew-drinking keyboard denizen at Amazon HQ. It doesn't matter to me if you’re part of a worldwide data-mining operation orchestrated by Jeff Bezos himself. What matters is that you’re mine, sweetheart.


Op Ed: TikTok Ads Give Me the Rush of Being Harassed on the Street

The similarities between these TikTok ads and street harassment always make me reach for my keys… and, as a freshman, I don’t even own keys anymore. How am I supposed to feel safe holding a Penncard between my knuckles?


Quiz: Am I Stoned During Lecture, or Do I Just Have No More Fucks to Give?

Am I going to start putting in more work than ever now that my professional future is rapidly approaching? You bet your sweet ass I won’t. What am I doing instead? Take this quiz to find out!


OP-ED: I Deactivated My Facebook Last Week, and 4 Other Things That Feed My Superiority Complex

Do I think I’m better than anyone in particular? No, my god, I’m not conceitfed. Do I think I’m just a bit better than the generalized “everybody”? A little. 


4 Ways to Express That I'm Short Without Lifting Me and Twirling 360 Degrees

I know I'm short. I know you think I'm short. I can see how much you want to express it. By all means, go ahead.


OP-ED: We Shouldn't Call Dining Hall Food 'Food'

People have different conceptions of food and how it is prepared, served, and eaten. So when you call the pale, bland concoctions behind the sneeze guard at Commons "food," it can be insulting to those of us who grew up eating things like bread, meat, fruits, and vegetables that are actually seasoned and have flavors. 


OP-ED: SISTERS, This Rush is Super Sweet, but Does She Spark Joy?

Consider, deeply, the fact that you are not choosing rushes to discard, but, rather, rushes to keep. 


How Waking Up at 6 am Everyday Gave Me More Time To Tell People I Wake Up At 6 am Everyday

I get up early. Real mother-effing early. Like so early, you’d think I’m a student-athlete.


This Year I'm Keeping With My New Years Resolution Of Not Jacking Off In Van Pelt

That fifth floor bathroom is just calling your name. You swallow your pride, head up the stairs, see the beautiful, little green tab – vacant. 


It's Cute That Your Hookup Acts like His Name Is on the Lease, but God Help Him if He Eats My Wheat Thins Again

Aw, it's adorable that we have a third person sharing our living space. I love waking up and not being able to use the bathroom because you guys are having shower sex.


Holiday Advice: Bring up Politics to Avoid Talking about Your Grades

For both, no one knows how it got this bad and there isn’t really much that can be done to fix it now.


OP-ED: I Don’t Care That I Just Failed My Econ Final — My Husband Will Be Richer Than All Of You

“It’s okay, though, don’t worry about me,” I said to address their grimaces. “My husband is going to be rich. Like really rich. Probably richer than everyone in that lecture hall, actually.” 


OP-ED: I Support Your Right to Have a Mental Breakdown in This Library, but Can You Do It a Little Quieter?

If you're going to violently curse your professor's dead relatives and weep into your hands, you're gonna have to take it down juuuuust a few decibels.


OP-ED: I Didn’t Get a Flu Shot, but It’s Okay Cause I Have a Cup of Green Tea Everyday

I consider myself an herbalist. No, not in the I-smoke-pot-everyday way, but more in my tendency to consume a small cup of single-origin green tea every day.  


OP-ED: I Swear I'm Not Stealing Anything! I'm Walking Slowly Through Frogro Late at Night Because I'm Hella Indecisive

There are only so many reasons someone would be at a Frogro past 11 at night and none of them involve good decision making skills.


Help! My Grandma Started Using the Word Drip!

Apart from the usual things I expected from my time at home for Thanksgiving, I was not expecting the new slang that my Grandma had picked up. 


OP-ED: I Don’t Mind Getting 25% Off This Assignment, My 8th Trip to Spicy Memory This Semester is More Important

Midterms are worth 50% of the overall grade anyways, so all you have to do is sober up by the next one so you don’t sleep through it like you slept through the first two.  


OP-ED: I’ll Trade You Two Bricks and a Wheat for Your Final Study Guide

Hey, I know we barely know each other, and I don’t really bring anything to the table vis-à-vis with respect to passing this exam, but you know what I do have? Two bricks and a wheat.


OP-ED: Mom, I Swear I Tripped and That's Why There is a Circular Bruise on My Neck

Yes Mom, these bruises on my neck are from when I fell down the stairs of my apartment building.


OP-ED: Why Does No One Laugh At My Super-Relatable Jokes About My Tiny and Obscure Major?

Guys, what’s the deal with the bathroom in Hayden Hall? I say bathroom because, in this three-story building, there is only one.


PennConnects