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Abdullah “Faresi” Alfaresi


Articles

How Studying At Fisher Fine Arts Helped Me (20, Masc) Understand Girlhood

I am now one Telfar and/or Marc Jacobs away from fully comprehending Penn-womanhood.


I'm Done With These Halal Food Trucks, Point Me To The Haram Ones

Having Halal Food Won't Absolve You of Your Sins


OP-ED: That Never Happened

A recounting of pre-break events


Report: Boyfriend Texting Drafts of Satire Headlines Again

“Wow, woke king! This white guy takes to a minority today!”


Shalom! UTB Now Hosting Conversion to Islam At The Daily Pennsylvanian Office

UTB Finally Got a DEI Executive Position


OP-ED: I Lost My Dignity to Bento Box A

Imagine if they were cheaper around finals... I would personally not be spared


Transition of Power! UTB Appoints Chinese Authority

With this comes the death of media bias, we shall all revel in the age of true reporting and inclusion.


Help :/ I’m Too Petite, I Can’t Reach the Moellis Reading Room Table

I Just Feel Like They Should Provide Booster Seats Right?


Finals Season! 10 Places On Campus to Conduct Your Eternal Scream In

Finally! A comprehensive list of places where one can scream in and be at peace.


OP-ED: I Need You To Love Me More

Nothing is truly ever as it seems, yet everything acts in accordance to what you do. Therefore, extend your love to me!


OP-ED: I Love Venn Diagrams

I love you and I don't know your stance on venn diagrams.


Intersectionality Win! CAS Boy Dates Wharton Boy

He did corporate finance, I wrote about instability in the middle east... we are the posterboys for diversity at Penn. <3


Lovesick? Heatsick? I’m Sick of You TAC-E Bitches

They'll try their hardest for a quirky play but settle for generic titles and promotions likeeee??


OP-ED: My Ethnic Nose is Carrying This Diversity Initiative

Arab noses can be so beautiful, darling.


Penn to Divert Funds from Middle East Center Towards Implementation of Sharia Law in Frats

Inshallah sorority sisters will lovingly adopt the hijab and fraternity brothers will embrace polygamy over cheating.


Shocking! Worst Looking Frat Brother is Worst Smelling Person at Pottruck

No like genuinely why do they always smell like salty day-old spinach



OP-ED: Wharton Alliance Should Allow LGBTQ+ Allies to Cissy That Walk!

Cishet men/women dating in a nebulous queer way shall immediately be VPs of the diversity and inclusion committee.


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