I entered 1920 Commons quite an everyday fellow: okay character, good head of hair, a personality both robust and mellow.
“What could they be thinking about? Gosh, these kids are so damn smart! Geniuses!” He looked at his son’s smile and excitement for life and almost winced, as if to say that such a visage could not possibly fit in here.
Yes, one might say, we are different, but being different doesn’t mean we’re any good.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“I guess you could call me a Caligula,” she once said.
Upon returning to campus, I visited my old friend to dust off its smooth, vandalized sides and to caress it.
Basically, I was born to account. For things. And that’s why I transferred to Wharton.
“Econ is definitely on my mind right now. I don’t know, the whole study — the field itself — is so interesting to me, you know?”
Pity us, noble Scene King, ruler of our lands. We worship you and would be honored to kiss the soles of your fucking overpriced shoes, worn simply to flex.
Listen, I’m not here to convince anyone since no one really agrees with my P.O.V., but, as I am here with a platform that can help aid my personal agendas, I say a second Pret is what this campus needs.
Spruce Street is her refuge, the path for those on this campus who crave a shred of anonymity. Protecting her from the sight of others, her Penn cap says it all: “yes, I’m a low-key bitch. And, you’re also right — I do go to Penn.”
It didn't have anything to do with the fact that I had a hard time finding an internship the summer before.
I enjoy how batshit scared all of you are of the cold — of a crispy, red leaf gently falling onto your Barbour coat.
In response to the news, Penn’s Interfraternity Council members, representatives from fraternities across campus, released a joint statement denouncing WCBS’s blatant disregard for students’ mental and physical wellbeing.
My destination? The womb of this campus: baby quad.
"We literally turn on the AC during interviews. Setting fire to these kids’ dreams and confidence can really make me break a sweat."
Priscilla Wang (W ’22), or "the ultimate plug" as she's referred to by her friends, always pulls through with the moves.
Gregory House suffered an excruciating cut to its net worth this past Friday as a bookcase — the dorm’s most monetarily significant asset — was (impressively) snatched from its first floor “library.”
At around 1pm this past Wednesday, a fifteen-person Penn tour group was propelled into midair while being lead through the violent high-rise wind tunnel.