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Anna Fighera


Articles

I Entered Commons and Left Uncommon

I entered 1920 Commons quite an everyday fellow: okay character, good head of hair,  a personality both robust and mellow.


Tour Group Mistakes Sadness in the Eyes of Students for Intelligence

“What could they be thinking about? Gosh, these kids are so damn smart! Geniuses!” He looked at his son’s smile and excitement for life and almost winced, as if to say that such a visage could not possibly fit in here. 


UTB Actually Very Bad, Low-Quality Publication

Yes, one might say, we are different, but being different doesn’t mean we’re any good. 



Student Takes Quick Bathroom Break to Scream into Toilet Before Presenting on Philly Parks' Urban Design

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Wow! Denise from Intermediate Latin Can Really Throw It Back

“I guess you could call me a Caligula,” she once said.


Its Great to Be Back! In My Cubicle on the 3rd Floor of VP

Upon returning to campus, I visited my old friend to dust off its smooth, vandalized sides and to caress it.


I Transferred to Wharton to Concentrate in Accounting

Basically, I was born to account. For things. And that’s why I transferred to Wharton.


Incoming Freshman Wants to Major in Econ Because It's 'Interesting'

“Econ is definitely on my mind right now. I don’t know, the whole study — the field itself — is so interesting to me, you know?” 


Scene King: Student Owns a Sharpie

Pity us, noble Scene King, ruler of our lands. We worship you and would be honored to kiss the soles of your fucking overpriced shoes, worn simply to flex.


OP-ED: Frontera Should Be Replaced by Another Pret

Listen, I’m not here to convince anyone since no one really agrees with my P.O.V., but, as I am here with a platform that can help aid my personal agendas, I say a second Pret is what this campus needs.


Click-Bait: I Just Described a Penn Student I Saw on Locust! Click to See If It's YOU!

Spruce Street is her refuge, the path for those on this campus who crave a shred of anonymity. Protecting her from the sight of others, her Penn cap says it all: “yes, I’m a low-key bitch. And, you’re also right — I do go to Penn.”


OP-ED: I’m Majoring in CIS Because I’m Genuinely Interested...in a Job?

It didn't have anything to do with the fact that I had a hard time finding an internship the summer before.


A Rap: Everyone Go Back to Your Rooms, I Hate Seeing You Outside

I enjoy how batshit scared all of you are of the cold — of a crispy, red leaf gently falling onto your Barbour coat. 


Justice for All: Frats on Campus Collectively Denounce Wharton China Business Society Amid Hazing Ban

In response to the news, Penn’s Interfraternity Council members, representatives from fraternities across campus, released a joint statement denouncing WCBS’s blatant disregard for students’ mental and physical wellbeing.


OP-ED: I Enter Upper Quad Just to SABS My Way down to Baby Quad

My destination? The womb of this campus: baby quad.


Practical! Club Recruitment Chairs Set Students' Self-Esteem Ablaze To Stay Warm This Winter

"We literally turn on the AC during interviews. Setting fire to these kids’ dreams and confidence can really make me break a sweat."


Innovative! Unconnected Freshman Checks Snap Map for Tonight's Moves

Priscilla Wang (W ’22), or "the ultimate plug" as she's referred to by her friends, always pulls through with the moves.


BREAKING: Stolen Bookcase From Gregory House Depreciates Worth Of Dorm By 97%

Gregory House suffered an excruciating cut to its net worth this past Friday as a bookcase — the dorm’s most monetarily significant asset — was (impressively) snatched from its first floor “library.”


Impressed Penn Tour Group Literally Blown Away By High-Rise Wind Tunnel

At around 1pm this past Wednesday, a fifteen-person Penn tour group was propelled into midair while being lead through the violent high-rise wind tunnel. 


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