I guess I could just stop by the ITA desk and get it done in a night, but I don’t want to be shady. He should be begging me to get on his wifi.
"We literally turn on the AC during interviews. Setting fire to these kids’ dreams and confidence can really make me break a sweat."
"It’s absolutely mind-boggling how a $30 plastic product from Walmart can have a more profound effect on purifying the body than some of our multi-million dollar machines."
According to a Penn's Interfraternity Council (IFC), most Fraternity Chapter Houses — or ‘chouses’ —have been deteriorating at unprecedented rates this rush season.
The Office of Student Health Services has announced a flu outbreak on campus, warranting heightened health and wellness precautions by all students.
“It’s okay, though, don’t worry about me,” I said to address their grimaces. “My husband is going to be rich. Like really rich. Probably richer than everyone in that lecture hall, actually.”
Sarah Rosen, a student admitted from Farmingdale High School, shared with UTB: “Yes, I’m incredibly excited to join the Quaker family! There’s not one other community I’d rather be a part of!
Priscilla Wang (W ’22), or "the ultimate plug" as she's referred to by her friends, always pulls through with the moves.
Gregory House suffered an excruciating cut to its net worth this past Friday as a bookcase — the dorm’s most monetarily significant asset — was (impressively) snatched from its first floor “library.”
At around 1pm this past Wednesday, a fifteen-person Penn tour group was propelled into midair while being lead through the violent high-rise wind tunnel.
“Yeah, I mean given who I am as a person, Penn was just the right choice for me,” chronic procrastinator and recluse James Rojas (C ’22) shared with his friends.
Jeremy Landis (E ’20) returned to his hometown of Dayton, Ohio this past Thanksgiving break feeling particularly thankful for his Penn education — but mostly for his ability to flex his Ivy League apparel in front of relatives and strangers alike.
She wants her (parents’) hard-earned money returned!
Freshman Fall often lends itself to intimate suitemate bonding — you'll likely see them cry, laugh, and even vomit within the first two days of NSO.
All nine Group Study Rooms were fit with a unique theme: limbo, lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud, and treachery — it was quite the hit!
Listen, I’ve spent all but $9.24 of my Dining Dollar$ for the semester at Pret A Manger — sue me!
"After I read that problem about the Pigouvian tax, I knew I was done for."
After Jenny Teller (E ’20) was told by her academic advisor to “have more soul” going into the internship recruitment process, she knew exactly what had to be done.
To Tinder users who are on the app just for some thumb action, here are three things you can turn into when you (inevitably) run into that rando you super-liked for no reason at all!
In a break from his Penn colleagues’ recent classroom policies, Professor Darren Wright has decided to reverse his no-laptop policy, as having to look at students’ sad and ugly faces began to take a toll on his mental and physical health.