Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Vom.com! Do Abbrevs Make You Totes Naus?

Introducing Point/Counterpoint, in which two UTB contributors have an IM fight over some relevant Penn issue.  Today, Michael Gold and Abby Johnston take on abbreviations, also known as abbrevs.

Abby: the main problem with abbreviations is that other than the very obviously standardized ones, i never have a clue what anybody's talking about Michael: how can you not? just listen! Michael: and anyway, the only ones i've ever heard are totes, prob, maybs. Michael: i hate when people say “totes prob” Michael: how can you be totally probably anything? Michael: like, hello, you go to penn. Abby: who says that? Abby: and thats exactly my point Michael: who doesn't say that? Michael: except me. Abby: people who can score above a 600 on the lit SAT can use more than two syllables per word Abby: also its just ridiculous Michael: okay, but what about the engineers? Michael: (zing!) Abby: hearing people speak in abbreviations particularly to adults is just an embarrassment Abby: engineers dont speak to anyone other than other engineers Abby: and thats a whole different conversation Michael: i can't imagine talking to my professor in abbrev. Michael: “hey prof! i totes wanted to fin the homework, but i got caught at a part. maybz i can turn in it tomorrow?” Abby: speaking in abbreviations is like not knowing the difference between “their” “they’re” and “there” Michael: but when you're talking to your friends, why the hell not? Michael: okay, how is that the same thing at all? Abby: it’s the lazy way out Abby: how hard is it to figure out the difference and then USE THE CORRECT WORD FORM Michael: you are def overreacting. Michael: totes need a chill pill. Abby: no i am not Michael: you prob wouldn't need to if you wouldn't freak out when people abbrev. Abby: not my fault i take pride in my language Abby: hahah Michael: so do i, but this isn't going to go away. Michael: might as well adjust. Michael: i don't think it makes me ignorant to save a few syllables. less is more. Michael: i'm trying to conserve. Michael: cut down on my output. Abby: tell that to shakespeare Abby: and i think cutting out unnecessary words such as “totes” is appropriate for the whole less is more debate Abby: rather than syllables Michael: i'm fairly sure shakespeare made words up so he could avoid circumlocution. Michael: so there you go. Abby: yes Abby: shakespeare made up words Abby: not ABBREVIATIONS Michael: okay but americans like to abbreviate Michael: hello: you go to UPenn. Abby: yes Michael: you're in SAS. Michael: you write for the DP. Abby: aren’t we supposed to be smarter than the average american Abby: i see all those points as reasons why i should excel at the english language Abby: by using real words Michael: ...you don't punctuate. Michael: so there. Abby: maybe you only need punctuation because you don’t use whole words Abby: also, hello, we’re on AIM Michael: also an abbreviation. Abby: it’s an acronym, not an abbreviation Michael: so what. even if you pronounce it as three separate letters as opposed to the word “aim” (which, of course, i prefer), it's three syllables instead of eight or so. Michael: and how is that not lazy? Michael: abbrev has it's roots in american tradition. Michael: blame franklin roosevelt. Michael: or, if you prefer, FDR. Abby: those are his INITIALS Michael: which we refer to him by. because it's three syllables. Abby: if we abbreviated every word that had more than three syllables, our language would be diminished to the point of no repair Michael: please. that's just part of linguistic evolution. Abby: what is this, linguistic darwinism? survival of the shortest? Michael: well you don't see shakespeare anywhere do you? Michael: :P Abby: by your logic midgets would rule the earth Michael: maybe not yet. Michael: give them some time. Michael: anyway, my point is that abbreviation is part of the linguistic process. not that better things come in small packages. Abby: and my point is that abbreviations, rather than being a part of this so called “linguistic process” are rather the lazy man’s way out of having a full fledged conversation Michael: (that punchline just wrote itself, by the way) Abby: hahahah im sure Michael: according to wikipedia, acronyms are abbrevs. Michael: (which, for the purpose of driving you crazy, i'm calling acros.) Abby: hahah if i didn’t love you i would really hate you Michael: so this discussion basically ends with you preserving the purity of the english language. Michael: and me killing it in the name of progress? Abby: yes Abby: exactly Michael: wanted to make sure it was totes obvi. Abby: wooow Michael: Hey! We needed an ending line. Abby: side benefit of abbreviations: you sound like a freaking genius