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Happy Thanksgiving! My Friend Told Me I Have the Facial Structure of Goody Proctor

Happy Thanksgiving! My Friend Told Me I Have the Facial Structure of Goody Proctor

I think it’s your nose, maybe your chin. It's like someone overlayed every white girls' face. 

601 Reasons Why Doja Cat's "Get Into It (Yuh)" is the Song of the Summer 2022

Spoiler: It's not what you think!

Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy

Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy

Despite his decidedly insufferable characteristics, I must concede that this kid fucking dripsssss.

OP-ED: You Can’t Kick Me Out of a GSR in a Way That Matters

OP-ED: You Can’t Kick Me Out of a GSR in a Way That Matters

I realize I am damned to this narrative.

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Green Eggs AND Ham, Commons Has Everything Today!

I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.


Sophomore Misses Midterm to Wait in Line for 1.5 Oz of Glossier You Eau de Parfum

It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.


OP-ED: I Need You To Love Me More

Nothing is truly ever as it seems, yet everything acts in accordance to what you do. Therefore, extend your love to me!


They’ve Gone Too Far: The Penntrification of Northeast Philadelphia

And hey, it’s not like Philly is going to do anything about it. One resident close to the demolished shelter said, “This place kinda sucks” when I asked her how she felt about Penn’s most recent expansion.


Erm, Why Does Your Childhood Friend Have a Two-Year-Old and You Don’t Even Have Your Bachelors

Jersey? Hannah is going to OWN a house with a yard? And she is a manager at Super Cuts in Cherry Hill?


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