Report: Three Months Remain Until Penn Senior Becomes Regular Unemployed Alcoholic
“Certainly, his parents are very proud of him,” stated researchers, “but when they look at their neighbor’s son who played football in high school and went to a state school and is now working as an actuary at a regional insurance company, they can’t help but wonder: can their child thrive outside the structure of an educational institution?”
10 Things You Should Definitely Ask the Potential New Member You're Talking to During Rush
Make sure the cream rises to the top!
Chivalry Isn't Dead! Boy Saving 50% Off 10 Pc McNuggets Deal for Valentine’s Day Dinner
There are still some good men out there!
To Whoever Stole My Underwear From The Harnwell Laundry Room: Get Ready For a Nasty Yeast Infection
Don't. Mess. With. My. Clothes, Ho.
Elon Musk Funds New Fraternity: Kappa Kappa Kappa
No, you cannot go around abbreviating this one.
Alpha Jaywalker Brutally Mogs Beta Waiting for Walk Sign
Who needs to obey the traffic lights? Only a weak person with a fragile mindset, who believes that the Philly driver who is simultaneously on Snapchat and vaping will hit them.
Guy From Some Northeastern City Wants You to Know It's Not That Cold
A Guy from a Northeastern City has some opinions about recent temperatures.
To Whoever Stole My Underwear From The Harnwell Laundry Room: Get Ready For a Nasty Yeast Infection
Don't. Mess. With. My. Clothes, Ho.
Alpha Jaywalker Brutally Mogs Beta Waiting for Walk Sign
Who needs to obey the traffic lights? Only a weak person with a fragile mindset, who believes that the Philly driver who is simultaneously on Snapchat and vaping will hit them.
Elon Musk (C ’97) Deemed “Too Off-Putting” To Hang Out With Pedophile Group
“Thank God that freak Elon isn’t here. That guy really sucks. Fucking weirdo.”
