UTBiden: The Video Game
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be the 47th Vice President of the United States and Presidential Professor of Practice, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr? Now's your chance! Hop on your scooter and navigate Locust as you travel from Perry World House to your meeting with Amy Gutmann.
Campus Sports Fans Thrilled They Can Still Bandwagon Penn Men's Basketball
Tens, maybe-but-probably-not hundreds, of students on campus rejoiced this evening when Penn men's basketball upset reigning NCAA national champion Villanova and shocked the world (except the three DP sports writers who "predict" every year that Penn will beat 'Nova — they totally called it).
Huntsman Hall’s Chode-Like Appearance ‘Not Entirely Incidental,’ Admits Architect
It is a shape that inspires confidence, strength, and power. I am certain that the external design of the building reflects accurately the people within.
Wildly Creative Student to Caption New Year’s Insta With '2018: thank u, next'
College senior Andrew Caplan is ready to say hello to 2019 and never look back.
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BREAKING: Flu Epidemic On The Rise As Freshmen Rushes Can't Stop Kissing Ass
The Office of Student Health Services has announced a flu outbreak on campus, warranting heightened health and wellness precautions by all students.
You're a Mean One, Mr. CITsender
You're as slimy as snake, I see your name and shriek, Mr. CITsender
It's Cute That Your Hookup Acts like His Name Is on the Lease, but God Help Him if He Eats My Wheat Thins Again
Aw, it's adorable that we have a third person sharing our living space. I love waking up and not being able to use the bathroom because you guys are having shower sex.
Holiday Advice: Bring up Politics to Avoid Talking about Your Grades
For both, no one knows how it got this bad and there isn’t really much that can be done to fix it now.
Freshman Looking for the Perelman Quadrangle Ends Up in Princeton, New Jersey
Although the donation was well-intentioned, a great number of Penn students feel cheated by the once loyal graduate. Chief among these students are freshman who “just wanted Insomnia.”