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DONT SKIP!!! READ THIS ARTICLE FOR 10 YEARS OF LUCK (SHARE 3 TIMES TO LOCK IN YOUR KARMA)

MANIFESTATION IS REAL IF YOU SKIP THIS ARTICLE YOU WILL HAVE BAD KARMA FOREVER!!!! AND A PIANO WILL DROP ON YOUR HEAD AT 11:11PM!!!!!!

UTB Investigates: How Does Dry Cleaning Work?

UTB Investigates: How Does Dry Cleaning Work?

I know I’m terribly naive, but doesn’t cleaning need water?

OP-ED: How Can I Be One of the Boys While Still Asserting My Feminine, Delicate Figure?

OP-ED: How Can I Be One of the Boys While Still Asserting My Feminine, Delicate Figure?

 I must conquer both my quirky, boyish, relatable self, and my petite, teeny-tiny, hourglass figure.

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Wowza! Locust Walk Reimagined Thanks to Penn-BlackRock Partnership

Preposterous! Sure, snake-game tile patterns work for the technocratic healthcare managers of the world, but the New Sincere era calls for more garish tile displays. 


"Step One, Roth IRA...": Wharton Freshman Advises Displaced Philadelphia Residents

Steps 4 and 5 are to get a couple hundred thousand dollars from your father. If the displaced residents follow this simple 5-step plan, they should be Main Line homeowners in no time. 


EXCLUSIVE: The Inside Scoop on Liz Magill’s Synesthesia

When shown the Stanford insignia, reminiscent of her former employer, Magill responded, “Somewhere between Elizabeth Holmes and petrichor.”


Penn Introduces New Study A Broad Program

At the end of the semester, participating students will be required to give presentations to the Penn community on what they learned from their time studying a broad, such as whether or not she is a vibe. 


OP-ED: Twin-XL Beds Perpetuate Unhealthy Barbie-Like Beauty Standards

In fact, they are proud to accept fat people! Sorority bids are entirely based on controllable traits, such as wealth, clothes, and acne.


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