OP-ED: I'm Hungies
YES! Let’s just smoke a cigarette. Delish! Nothing tastes better than that.
Incel to Give Up Sex for Lent
Instead of society deeming him undesirable and unworthy of getting intimate with another human being, Jared will not be fucking to honor his Savior Jesus Christ instead.
Save Time With Internship Applications By Sending Your Resume Straight to the Trash
Companies will appreciate your forward-thinking and might even take your initiative into account when they consider your application.
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Admissions Committee Announces That 70% Of Senior Class Would Not Be Admitted and Does Not Deserve to be Here
The statement went on to detail that upwards of 70% of the senior class would not be admitted if they applied to Penn again and fundamentally do not deserve to be here.
How to Avoid Getting Covid
I found this website called Corona Cures XXX that gave a lot of cures that haven’t been circulated by mainstream medicine, among other things.
Advanced Registration, Finding a Subletter, and 4 Other Activities Guaranteed to Give You a Blood Clot
For all the anti-vaxxers, anti-waxxers, anti-inheritance-taxxers, and anti-sexual-climaxxers out there - do you commonly find yourself wishing that you too had equal access to life-threatening blood clots?
Amy Gutmann Wins Every Single Event in The Penn Relays For Second Year In Row
Through urine testing and vehement denial, Gutmann seems to have successfully distanced herself from the allegations of doping that were raised last year.
Dinner Once Again Hinges on 5 Oz. Bottle of Tabasco
Thanks to the McIlhenny Company, Fortson’s cooking has been made tolerable for the past couple of weeks.