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BREAKING: Women of Penn Wet for the First Time in Years

BREAKING: Women of Penn Wet for the First Time in Years

Here we all are. Together, on Penn‘s campus, in Philly, and, most importantly, wet.

OP-ED: Wharton Alliance Should Allow LGBTQ+ Allies to Cissy That Walk!

Cishet men/women dating in a nebulous queer way shall immediately be VPs of the diversity and inclusion committee.

Oops! Magill Approves Penn's First Fleet of Fighter PILOTs

Oops! Magill Approves Penn's First Fleet of Fighter PILOTs

In an official statement, Magill responded to critics: “To our activists of color, I hear you. I am listening. Next time, I will try and listen a little more closely, though — I think I know what PILOTs are now.”

Quiz: Should You Go Blonde?

Quiz: Should You Go Blonde?

You could totally pull it off.

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There Will Be Blood: My Hallmate Fucked My Mom

When I met him during move-in my heart skipped a beat. So did my mom's. 


How To Dry Your Socks In Class Without Anyone Noticing

Pour liquid nitrogen onto your feet. Your feet are no longer wet, since they are now solid.


Woke Mob Hasn’t Cancelled David Bowie but Here Are the 10 Tweets I Will Fire Off if They Hypothetically Did

I am a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, not a prostitute.


Fun Party Game: Guess Where I’m From but Every Time I Make Up a Fictional South Asian Country

You begin to feel how one usually feels after a few drinks: socially and morally conscious about your racial identity. 


Help! My Appearance Has Been Suffering, Please Send Me Thoughts About Me

Indeed, I have even attempted walking closely behind freshmen with hopes of corralling the trailings of their unregulated pheromones into my shell of a body. 


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