Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

News


Eavesdropping on Writing Sem Brings Sophomore Tears of Nostalgia

It was a simpler time; I still considered myself pre-med, ate McClelland eight times a week, and protested Castle.



601 Reasons Why Doja Cat's "Get Into It (Yuh)" is the Song of the Summer 2022

Spoiler: It's not what you think!


Green Eggs AND Ham, Commons Has Everything Today!

I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.


Sophomore Misses Midterm to Wait in Line for 1.5 Oz of Glossier You Eau de Parfum

It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.


They’ve Gone Too Far: The Penntrification of Northeast Philadelphia

And hey, it’s not like Philly is going to do anything about it. One resident close to the demolished shelter said, “This place kinda sucks” when I asked her how she felt about Penn’s most recent expansion.


BREAKING: Campus A Cappella Group Ousts Musical Arranger After Botched Harmony at Family Showcase Night

This ruined the would-be event of the year for empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur a cappella.


Aww: Local Incel Elated to See Tinder Match Who Ghosted Them All Cozy and Well-Hydrated at UBB

The critically acclaimed creep show You has a fifth season set in the most perilous, abstract, iridescent slice of paradise: United By Blue (Coffee (Inc(.))).


Vibrator Left Behind in Huntsman GSR After Inaugural Edge Fund Board Meeting

“Anyone else smell fish?” asked a concerned bystander.


Good for Her? Girl Who Won't Stop Talking About ASL Knows 2 Signs, the ABCs, and Not One Deaf Person

"I think this one means love... Or if you ask my boyfriend, it means rock on!"


Dad Checks Watch, Longs for WWII Podcast He Saved for Ride Home From Family Weekend

Adam was enduring his sixth hour at Penn and ninth hour of “family time” that day.


Bhad Bhabie Hired to Lead Wharton Venture Lab

Bregoli recently had a moving speaking engagement at Oxford University, which is a big deal if you pronounce your r’s weirdly and can’t cook.


Intersectionality Win! CAS Boy Dates Wharton Boy

He did corporate finance, I wrote about instability in the middle east... we are the posterboys for diversity at Penn. <3


Pranked Again! Quake Puts Lube in Dinning Hall Hand Sanitizer Dispensers

The magazine, known for printing students' grainy low lit nudes and try hard poetry, is venturing into pranks as performance art.


After Two Months of College My Body Consists of Primordial Soup

It just needs a zap of electricity to make some basic monomers.



Big Spreadsheet Open on Laptop Next to Me — Now I Know All the Financial Secrets of America’s Largest Corporations!

How did this man have access to all this information? The answer may shock you.


Joy of Extra Hour of Sleep No Match for Horrors of 4:45 PM Sunset

If this is the price we must pay, I say let the daylight go unsaved.


Students Watching Math 104 YouTube Videos Extremely Educated About Fetterman’s Campaign

They can correctly answer how long Oz lived in New Jersey, but have zero clue what the chain rule is.


OP-ED: Halloween is Unnecessary, We Already Constantly Live in Fear

Sure, ghosts, zombies and vampires are scary, but wouldn’t we rather face poltergeists and the undead than face loneliness, ostracization, apathy, and disappointed parents? 


PennConnects