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Opinion


Fun Party Game: Guess Where I’m From but Every Time I Make Up a Fictional South Asian Country

You begin to feel how one usually feels after a few drinks: socially and morally conscious about your racial identity. 


7 Tips to Rush in the Eyes of Jesus

Sinning runs rampant; intoxication, fornication, and spiritual deprivation all accompany “Meeting the Bros” or “dirty rushing.” However, there is a way to do away with this filth and rush properly – rush how Jesus would. 


I Know She Saw It: Coco Gauff Posted on Her Instagram Story But Didn’t Respond to My DM

Unbeknownst to me, that little bitch (read: fantastically successful and impressive athlete) just doesn't give a fuck about the beautiful things I have to say to her.


SAC Fair Opens New Horizons: Perhaps I Am the Perfect Candidate for Swing Dancing

Despite never taking a dance class in my life, the representatives regard my pudgy legs and deem them “perfect for our types of choreography.”


Op-Ed: I’m Going Abroad to Gregory College House

I want to explore the world! I want my mind, body, and soul to experience different environments, different cultures, different halal carts, even! 


The Mirrors in DRL Remind Me I Belong There

As I hobbled down the hallway, I took a quick glance to my left and saw my reflection.


If 1 in 5 People in the World Are Actually Chinese, Why Do I Still Have No Ethnic Friends?

My lightweight rowing team also, suspiciously, is all white. Any group of 5 that I create out of them has no Chinese people in it at all.


Ok Hypocrite: My Dad Tells Me To Study Hard for Finals After Failing His Paternity Test

He’s just a man to me. I always wondered why I looked Wasian despite having a white dad. Well now I know, this fool failed the test.


Fuck Summer Internships, I Want to Be Remembered for My Art

Internships are seasonal, art is forever.



Damn, This Lovely Spring Weather Is Making Me Reflect on the Cyclical Nature of It All

How was your spring equinox? I almost forgot to ask.


Gatekeeping the Toxic Situationship Soft-Launch Until You Slay

None of these words were in The Bible. 


I'm Done With These Halal Food Trucks, Point Me To The Haram Ones

Having Halal Food Won't Absolve You of Your Sins


Boy Gone Wild: My Licentious Spring Break in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Definitely the easiest of the two capitol stormings I have participated in in my lifetime.


Editorial: I Am Not a Veteran

not a veteran I am not a veteran I do not identify as one or more


OP-ED: That Never Happened

A recounting of pre-break events


Photo Essay: Welcome to My World of Truly Delicious Foods

Buckle up and let's discover some great foods together...


OP-ED: I’m Going to Cabo for Spring Break in a Woke, Leftist Way

 As Marx once said, “let the people darty.” 


You Think You Can Jaywalk Across Spruce Street to Lower Quad Better Than I? Watch This.

 My hands are sweating. I’m Usain Bolt in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. 


Super Bowl? I Thought This Weed Was Just Okay

I mean, it was a fun sesh, but super? I thought it was pretty standard, all things considered. 


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