As controversy brews over our handling of Penn Fight Night 2023, my guilty conscience implores me to break my silence. I, Ted Kwee-Bintoro, Vice President for Partnerships, Charity Affairs, and General Malfeasance of the Wharton Graduate Association, spent the missing money. But it went to a good cause: I’m doing a couple fat rails tonight.
Community Service? No thanks, I prefer community disservice. Next time you offer me a flier or ask me to buy from your bake sale, please don’t! I don’t need your handouts, I’m not a charity. You are!
Thanks to my once-daily prescription of chewable 80-mg sildenafil from the men’s telehealth provider Himsᵀᴹ, I’m unafraid of “cancel culture.” While others stay soft, I get so hard that I turn blue in the face.
Girl, are you a jawn?
I’d rather listen to my dentist perform a root canal using some rusty drill
Have your eyes been opened to the truth?
‘you’re so hot! You’re the most professional girl in the world!’
Not a thing in the world compares to the love of two sisters.
Every time you fell, you got up again
If liking Commons is wrong, then I don’t want to be right
We at UTB have amassed a core set of caring techniques for those with roommates who get no play
As the hunt for a little begins (game on!), here are some fun activities to do with your new PC to help find your lins’ newest blonde babe
When I see a button nose it makes me so ill that I just have to throw up in my mouth.
Mother, please. I know you’re upset but I hope you’ll understand.
She was eating boiled potatoes and some sort of dried fish. Gross. Damn. It was like 10:00am.
Omg you took pictures of me?
Number 4 Will Shock You
Boston? Is that in Massachusetts?
ABG? I think one of my friends interned there last summer.
How am I supposed to function in a space with the characteristics of a space such as this space here?