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Sports for Chicks: Gridiron Edition

Welcome to the first edition of Sports for Chicks, the self-explanatory brainchild of UTB contributor Lily Avnet.  Today she gives us the 411 on that most macho of sports, football.

Every weekend hundreds of Penn women wonder why their boyfriend/bff/fling from last night has not called them back. Ladies, I have a revolutionary answer, an earth shattering revelation:  football. See, every weekend as we anxiously wait for that text, all our gentlemen seem to be "playing hard to get." While I in no way wish to demean the flirtational capacity of our Penn boys, I'd like to offer a simple solution rather than whining, "he's just not that into you." Think positively. Take a deep breath and say, "Today he's just more into Brett Favre."

Indeed, every Saturday a multitude of men must watch their favorite colleges and universities duke it out while simultaneously trying to catch a glimpse of their shirtless friend from high school who painted his face and decided to rock a beer hat for the occasion.

The following day as a hangover ritual our boys must watch professional football (a.k.a. the NFL) between the hours of 1 and 7 p.m. During this time they might use the word "fantasy" more often than usual. Not to worry, they're not thinking about a threesome with you and your roommate (yet), but rather the idea that they can put Brandon Jacobs on a team with Tony Romo. Translation: they choose players on different teams for their own dream team... (Cue the theme to 300) the fantasy team.

So, when every guy you know seems to be a football trance, don’t sweat it. Remember, you’ve still got game, just not during game time.