An Open (Break Up) Letter to Daniel Craig

Dear Daniel,

We need to talk.

Things have been a little rocky with us ever since you landed Casino Royale. I probably shouldn't have said that Pierce Brosnan will always be my favorite Bond, but I bet you're glad that I talked you down from that bottle of L'Oreal Feria Espresso #47 now.

Since you've been dropping hints about it all month, I guess I'll see Quantum of Solace sooner or later (a little needy, Dan, but whatever). I still think you're trying to tell me something with that title. In fact, we probably both need some space. Your jokes about literally piercing people with your blue eyes have gotten old. They're not lasers.

Anyway, I left a box of your things by the front door: CDs, t-shirts, Mr. Tinkles, soda, purple stuff, Sunny-D. Pick it up next time you're in town. Oh, and I'm keeping the Aston Martin.

--Victoria T. Mazgalev