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State of the School: Dennie's Take

7:27: So here's the deal peeps. I'm at the State of the School so you don't have to be! Hasn't started yet but here's the low down. There's a lot of people dressed very formal-y-esque and a whole lot of stud gov love. Yours truly does not feel the love.

7:28: I should issue a disclaimer: I kind of live in a stud gov house. If you count my former involvement with SAC, my house covers five branches: Feczko the King of the Gay Jews is all over UA, J-Shatt totes has the NEC covered, the Vivster can't get enough SPEC lovin, and all around bad-ass Yoni is SCUE-in it up. That's five branches. Ridic.

7:34: Ok, this shit was def supposed to start a while ago. What the fuck. I've got shit to do. Like McDonald's.

7:35: I just found out that J-Shatt signed a lease somewhere else. She's not living with us. My heart is broken. State of the School hasn't started yet. Bull-fucking-shit.

7:38: Ok somebody started talking. The lights have been dimmed. Ooo! Stud gov education presentation.

7:39: Awkward laughter. Awww shit there's a town hall after. This shit is gonna take forever.

7:39: The word straight is underlined in the presentation. Subtle jab at my home coalition, Lambda? Perhaps...

7:40: Michelle Jacobson is talking about SPEC. She's a hottie. I hear some SPEC love from the crowd. Oh fuck she's rapping. Oh fuck.

7:41: She shouted out Anderson Cooper. Totes a hottie. And a little gay.

7:41: SPEC is easily the most bad ass of all the branches. FLING SHOUT OUT! Ooo, total jab at the UA - SPEC needs a budget increase or some shiz. They better get it. They're the only branch anyone likes. Fo realz. Well now that SPEC's over, it's all downhill from here.

7:43: They're having technical difficultites. Lamesauce. Wilson's up now for the UA. He better rap too.

7:44: I think I've slept with more people than there are in this room. Just sayin. That's more of a statement about my sluttiness than the attendance.

7:44: The UA allocates 1.72 million dollars. That's a lot of money. Like a lot a lot.

7:45: I wonder how many of these stud gov people lead crazy double lives - there's bound to be some hardcore drug dealers in here (read: Julia Shatten).

7:46. There's a flow chart. UA Steering is totes on there - REPRESENT

7:47: This is actually really boring. I'm kind of wondering how many people I've hooked up with in this room. Hmmm...

7:47: Ok now he's talking about the whole Dartmouth thing. He said off the record, something about crushing Dartmouth, meh.

7:48: Somebody was just snapping. I hate it when people snap their approval. Legit.

7:49: Now Wilson's talking about things the UA has worked on this year: extended move out, political funding, NSO parties... the usual.

7:49: Apparently there's something on the table about getting college houses to rent out shopping carts? I'm just as lost as you are.

7:50: There's a picture of students marching to City Hall to celebrate the Obama victory. Bad ass.

7:51: Economy shout out. Boooo. I need a job.

7:52: Ron Daniels message. Sad. He was a Canadian hottie.

7:52: Four more branches left. Fuck.

7:53: NEC shouted the loudest. What does it all mean!!?!?!?!?

7:53: SCUE sucked. Not nearly as much as SAC did though.

7:53: Brittany Stark is up. I don't know if I should trash the NEC too much - they totes gave me a University Council seat last year. And a spot on a UC committee. Screw it, I'm taking them down.

7:54: Ok this presentation is kind of boring. Don't let it fool you - they party the hardest. J-Shatt was wasted earlier this week bc of a pong tournament.

7:55: There are some stats on the board, but they don't really matter. I wonder what happened on Gossip Girl this week. I hope Jenny shapes up.

7:56: People are trying to be funny.

7:57 5B shout out!!! Woot woot Lambda!

7:57: Oooo, there's a stud gov website now. Hot mess.

7:58: I'm seriously worried about Jenny. She dropped out of school! Ahhh, must pay attention.

7:59: This just reminds me of when I ran for UA. And lost. By 2 votes. Bastards.

7:59: There a lot of pictures up here. And Preston is in every one of them. LOLz.

8:00: Brittany is pledging to do shit now. It's getting intense in here.

8:00: Not gonna lie, this presentation is kind of funny.

8:01: Three down, three to go. I should have pre-gamed. This would actually make a really good drinking game. I'm gonna work on that now.

8:01: I'm pretty sure I have to write a response paper tonight for a seminar tomorrow. But it's Wednesday, and that means Woody's. Conundrum!

8:02: Ok, SAC is the most boring, but they started their presentation with a Britney Spears song. I'm conflicted on the inside.

8:03: Natalie's talking about what the hell SAC does. All I know is that they have a LOT of money. And they used to deny my requests for more money when I rep'd QSA. Lamesauce.

8:04: Matt Feczko, previousy mentioned King of the Gay Jews, just walked in. We're roommates. Kind of a big deal.

8:05: Now she's talking about debt initiatives. Boring. I just heard snapping - I'm gonna cut some bitches' thumbs off soon.

8:05: Currently there are 4 ninjas here (aka my housemates). We're all pretty bad ass.

8:06: Drinking game rule #1: Drink every time somebody snaps.

8:07: Rule #2: Drink every time an acronym shows up on the screen.

8:07: I downloaded the new Britney cd this week. It's not that good. I'm pretty disappointed. Matt's not going to Woody's tonight - he has other plans. Maybe I'll write that paper. Probs not - I'll just watch The L Word.

8:09: OK now SCUE is up. I'm just gonna be mean - I don't know what they do. I think I read in the DP that the thing they've been working on FOR THREE YEARS (online syllabi) just got shot down. Just sayin.

8:10: Hasn't really mentioned anything good they've done yet.

8:11: I wonder how many gays are in the room right now.

8:11: Matt's getting ready to bone my computer (it's a new Mac, so it's understandable).

8:12: SCUE has the flashiest presentation, but it's the most boring. Actually, that's a lie, SAC definitely was. I just really don't like SCUE.

8:12: I miss Michelle's rapping. That was pimp.

8:13: New life goal: hook up in College Hall. Maybe tonight? Who knows!

8:13: Just mentioned Nobel prize winners. Sorry Zach, they're all at Princeton. Or Yale. Or Harvard. Or any other Ivy that isn't Penn.

8:14: I wonder if everyone else is as bored as I am. I'm pretty sure they are.

8:15: There's a lot of lofty things going on in SCUE. That's all I'm getting out of this. I might have to go to Wawa soon.

8:16: Something about a White Paper. Subtle racism? Maybs.

8:16: Ok, now it's class boards. Why aren't there any female class prezzies? Sexist Penn much?

8:19: Matt's really into the freshmen prezzie's voice. Just sayin...

8:21: J-Shatt is gonna start passing notes. Hellzzzzz yes.

8:22: Note from J-Shatt: 10/10 10:00pm. Every single senior runs outside and does the High School Musical dance! 2000 people! = my dream." This is why J-Shatt is the love of my life.

8:23: I'm still not 100% sure what the class boards do...

8:23: Matt says they do events. Fair enough.

8:24: Financial services shout out. LOLz

8:25: Matt really hates the ties that all the prezzies are wearing. I kind of agree.

8:25: Hey Day is a go. I'm gonna be shwasty-face for that shit. Like legit. Before 11am.

8:26: Ok, Matt and I stopped paying attention and started gossipping.

8:27: Matt's having boy drama.

8:28: Brett said ginormous. Anyone else and I'd be pissed. But he's pretty, so it's ok.

8:29: I think they're going to open it up to questions now. Fuck.

8:29: Oooo, there's a video. I hope it's good. By good I mean funny. By funny I mean NOT BORING. State of the School = lamesauce.

8:30: Anderson Cooper was on screen again. Hottie.

8:30: Picture of Wilson and Claire was up there. AWKWARD.

8:31: Conclusion: Best thing about student government is the concerts. And FLING.

8:34: YES! Question about the online syllabi. I don't really know what the answer was.

8:35: Someone totally just slammed the UA. It was intense. Wilson is gonna kick this guy's ass outside. Parking lot fight!!!!

8:36: Some of these questions are a little too serious for my taste. I wish I were watching "High School Musical 3: Senior Year." At least Zac Efron is in that. He's not here.

8:38: Natalie Vernon is totally laying the smack down on this rando guy who asked some bellig question about groups going abroad. She's my new hero.

8:39: The NEC is actually really attractive. I wonder if they take this into account when they're picking their new members in the fall. Probs. (Matt note: "Especially the freshmen").

8:40: Stud gov has love for the DP.

8:44: I just gave Matt the advice to sleep with someone. I think it's solid.

8:45: I want McDonalds and Matt is trying to set me straight. Haha. Straight.

8:46: They've been talking about funding stuff for awhile. I stopped paying attention. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to use photo booth. It's still a work in progress.

8:47: Done-zo! I'm gonna go get drunk.