Surprise! You've Got The Syph!

If you've picked up your copy of the DP Thursday, you probably read about the single greatest thing to hit the Internet since Scrabulous: inSPOT.org. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, now you can remove all of the discomfort and unpleasantries from having to tell a former partner that your last encounter was a bit more lasting than either of you probably would have liked.

There are some unfortunate limits on the Web site. Perhaps the most important, you're going to have to know your former companion's name and e-mail address. Might I suggest that for a minimal extra fee, inSPOT takes down what few details you can recall of your one-time bed buddy and tries to find said partner a la Law and Order? After all, this is an important pubic public health crisis. If inSPOT is really trying to help you manage your one night stands, it's not fair of them to hold out.

The other big problem with the site is that inSPOT is too practical. The site jumps from telling you about your newly-acquired ailment to providing you with information about symptoms and giving you directions to the free clinic. There's never really any consolation ("Hey, we're sorry, this happened to you.") or even any chastisement ("Maybe next time you'll listen to her and be smart enough to wear a jimmy cap?"). It's great that the site aims to spread awareness that that all the itching and burning could be a bit more complicated than it seems (though it seems fairly complicated already), but I can't help but feel like inSPOT makes STI's far too easy.

Seriously, shouldn't the "We might have Hep B" conversation be awkward and uncomfortable? At least a portion of the undesirability of getting the clap stems from your inability to purchase a "Sorry, but I'm unclean... and now you are too!" card from Hallmark? That being said, a friend of mine pointed out that she now has a great way to get back at her ex with this website. Perhaps an anonymous tip that he might have chlamydia will get him to dump that tramp he's shacked up with and send him back to her arms.