Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Spring Fling Fever: Carlin Makes A To-Do List


Where would UTB be without Carlin?  This week, our campus coquette makes a list and checks it, um, 13 times.

At the beginning of this semester, I admitted to my ritualistic behavior of listing (and editing) my sex life. I now find myself, in the week that will culminate in Fling, making yet another list with a friend of equal sexual credentials. Facebook open and BBM conversations up for review, we each crafted the Final Countdown of lists: who would/should/could you hook up with before you graduate? Clearly, I am a fan of all things circular this term. Call me sentimental.

This list, as was that of “Sex, a History,” is multi-tiered. It is important to note that regardless of the classification, the overall tone is that of carpe diem: this is meant to be fun, and there should be no repercussions. Like, why the fuck not? Seize the day, man. I see two types of hook ups involved in said evaluation: there’s the obvious and simplistic “I’d Make Out With You” class of Pennsters. Meet up at Smoke's (or Blarney, if it gets too crowded/ugly), and end up on the couch while watching a movie -– the bra stays on, maybe if you’re feeling it, you’ll rest your hand on a thigh. Then there’s the “One Night in Paris” list -– night cam optional. Finally, there's the month-long fuckathon. Not sure how often that happens, but call me?

Once my friend and I had made it clear that there were these two (maybe three) distinct categories, I created my list of boys -– or should I say men? Not to say that I am an equal opportunist (I can actually be self-hindering in my choosiness), but the eclectic nature completely destroyed any loose previously held construction of a “type.” Tall, short, gentile, Jewish, East Coast, West Coast, local, foreign, older, younger, cool as hell, dorkily endearing -- it was funkier and more colorful than the three years of my cumulative closet.

I thought six would be a nice number. Not too limiting, and just big enough that you’re likely to see one or two of them out at a time. However, I ended up with a total of thirteen, five of whom were juniors, and one of whom was (gulp) definitely closer in age to my little brother. Hey, I have six weekends left. The following “types” surfaced:

    1. The long-term lust. Just in case you fell overboard or missed the boat over Spring Break. (5 of 13)
    2. Been there, done that -- would more than happily be done again. (2 of 13)
    3. The guy from class. Smart? Check. Attractive? Check. Successful flirtation outside of class? Working on it. (3 of 13 –- one of them actually saw me at a party and revealed that he had read my notes to self I had written that week. And that I was kind of a head case. I think that was an in.)
    4. It’d be hilarious. Cute, friendly, totally an idiot. You have nothing to lose. (3 of 13)

Now mind you, this list is not unlike the very first list you ever made regarding college: you have your reaches, your safeties, and your mid-range schools of tail. Choose wisely, don’t invest too much as there might be as many acceptances as there are deferrals.  And definitely save the fried Oreos for a post-coital accolade.