Spring Fling Fever: Carlin Makes A To-Do List
April 13, 2009 at 11:35 am
Where would UTB be without Carlin? This week, our campus coquette makes a list and checks it, um, 13 times.
At the beginning of this semester, I admitted to my ritualistic behavior of listing (and editing) my sex life. I now find myself, in the week that will culminate in Fling, making yet another list with a friend of equal sexual credentials. Facebook open and BBM conversations up for review, we each crafted the Final Countdown of lists: who would/should/could you hook up with before you graduate? Clearly, I am a fan of all things circular this term. Call me sentimental.
This list, as was that of “Sex, a History,” is multi-tiered. It is important to note that regardless of the classification, the overall tone is that of carpe diem: this is meant to be fun, and there should be no repercussions. Like, why the fuck not? Seize the day, man. I see two types of hook ups involved in said evaluation: there’s the obvious and simplistic “I’d Make Out With You” class of Pennsters. Meet up at Smoke's (or Blarney, if it gets too crowded/ugly), and end up on the couch while watching a movie -– the bra stays on, maybe if you’re feeling it, you’ll rest your hand on a thigh. Then there’s the “One Night in Paris” list -– night cam optional. Finally, there's the month-long fuckathon. Not sure how often that happens, but call me?
Once my friend and I had made it clear that there were these two (maybe three) distinct categories, I created my list of boys -– or should I say men? Not to say that I am an equal opportunist (I can actually be self-hindering in my choosiness), but the eclectic nature completely destroyed any loose previously held construction of a “type.” Tall, short, gentile, Jewish, East Coast, West Coast, local, foreign, older, younger, cool as hell, dorkily endearing -- it was funkier and more colorful than the three years of my cumulative closet.
I thought six would be a nice number. Not too limiting, and just big enough that you’re likely to see one or two of them out at a time. However, I ended up with a total of thirteen, five of whom were juniors, and one of whom was (gulp) definitely closer in age to my little brother. Hey, I have six weekends left. The following “types” surfaced:
- The long-term lust. Just in case you fell overboard or missed the boat over Spring Break. (5 of 13)
- Been there, done that -- would more than happily be done again. (2 of 13)
- The guy from class. Smart? Check. Attractive? Check. Successful flirtation outside of class? Working on it. (3 of 13 –- one of them actually saw me at a party and revealed that he had read my notes to self I had written that week. And that I was kind of a head case. I think that was an in.)
- It’d be hilarious. Cute, friendly, totally an idiot. You have nothing to lose. (3 of 13)
Now mind you, this list is not unlike the very first list you ever made regarding college: you have your reaches, your safeties, and your mid-range schools of tail. Choose wisely, don’t invest too much as there might be as many acceptances as there are deferrals. And definitely save the fried Oreos for a post-coital accolade.