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UTB's What Not To Wear: Halloween Edition

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In our first ever edition of UTB's What Not To Wear, we take a look at the Halloween costumes that all you crazy Penn kids came up with. And what better way to do that than with a comprehensive costume report card? Read on, friends. You may even catch a drunken photo of yourself that you don't remember us taking. Oooooh, scary.

"Jose Cuervo"

Alcohol-inspired costumes tend to be overdone but we enjoy them nonetheless: +5

The Mexican theme may be seen as offensive to people who are actually, uh, Mexican: -10

Shot glasses strapped across the chest. Convenient and festive!: +8

Fake mustache: +100

Final score: 103

"Rabbi"

Sweet beard: +14

Humble tilt of the hat: +3

Possible walking difficulty in the long robes: -34

Using electricity during the Sabbath and thus not staying true to character: -46

Final score: -63

"Frankenfurter"

Reference to Rocky Horror: +50

A man who isn't afraid to wear garters: +23

Camera-ready makeup: +102

Refusal to sing "Sweet Transvestite": -39

Automatic slut deduction: -45

Final score: 91

"DJ From Mars"...at least, we think that's what he said.

Surviving the night with a giant box on his head: +9

Facial expression on said box: +43

Staying classy and warm in a suit: +17

Confusion over what exactly this costume is: -94

Extra Credit- Claiming to be a huge UTB fan: +4049503

Final score: A lot minus a little

"Lady GaGa"

Just one of many GaGa renditions we saw: -10

Crazy chains to hold down potential conquests for dance floor makeouts: +5? We guess?

Gluing cigarettes to your sunglasses is much better than smoking them: +26

Using beer cans as hair rollers: +14

Final score: 45

"Salt and Pepper"

Aww, friendship: +12

Forgetting that salt is white and pepper is black: -17

Admitting that they are Philly U students. Whatchu doin' at Penn?: -100

Being the only females we spotted with a costume that isn't slutty or boring: +107

Final score: 2

"Day Man and Night Man"

It's Always Sunny references get us hot and sweaty: +200

Being the masters of karate and friendship for everyone: +124

It's cute when bros love each other enough to wear tight clothes together in the spirit of a holiday celebration: +19

We're a little afraid of what he's wearing (or not wearing) under the Day Man costume: -40

Final score: 3OH!3 (aka 303)

"Bumblebee" (the Transformer, not the insect. Duh.)

Transformers 2 was filmed at Penn so we automatically feel a deep connection: +45

The costume comes in two pieces. Inconvenient: -59

The craftsmanship is quite impressive for a Penn bro: +6

Not minding that we stole decorations from his house, including pictures of Mario Party characters: +10

Final score: 2

"Le Anh and The Real Le Anh"

Paying homage to food carts: +900

Not getting into character enough to know why one Le Anh is real and one is not: -205

We love any and all Penn references: +400

Actual costume is simple yet creative. However, it would be better if they dressed like actual trucks: -18

Final score: 1,077. Winners? Who knows.

That's all for our epic Halloween edition of What Not To Wear. For those of you who didn't make the list, we apologize. For those of you who are bound to get upset that not many females were featured, you should apologize to us for not wearing funnier costumes that we could both compliment and insult at the same time. By this we mean, no more Minnie Mouse or M&M costumes. Yawn.

Until next year... xoxo UTB

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