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You're LUCKY To Be Here! A Silver Linings Penn Playbook


Few of us are praying that finals continue forever. The impending end of the semester cannot come soon enough for most of the student body, which unanimously agreed it is "totes miserable" and is only surviving on junk food and hourly kvetch sessions.

But if you take advantage of the silver linings to still being here, you may want to miss your flight home on the 20th (you must be, like, the only person at this school with an exam on the last day). Okay, you may still want to fast-forward to spending the days couch potato-ing with your dog(s), but you are #blessed! Philly is your oyster! If you were home now, you wouldn't be able to:

  1. Turn your sadness into happy hour. Treat yoself to dranks at any of University City's daily happy hours to turn that frown upside down! Then stumble into Van Pelt and write a paper tipsy, you tortured artist, you.
  2. Ignore parental nags. When you're under the same roof as momma, tensions are going to rise if you don't X, Y and Z right now. At dear old Penn, you just get occasional texts reminding you to go outside and eat greens.
  3. CONSHY CRAFTOHOLIC SHOP FA LA LA LA LA LA! Because this is a thing. Aren't you grateful to be at Penn, where you can go downtown this Saturday for a holiday shopping extravaganza for those "addicted to indie arts and crafts"?
  4. Be within a mile of Amy Gutmann. (Because she's never not in her house, right?)
  5. Get up close and personal with Countess, the Locust Hawk, as you tearfully walk home from VP in the wee hours of the morning.
  6. Wawa two plus times a day. If you don't have the fine eatery known as Wawa in the vicinity of home, you better hope time goes slow during finals! Sober or drunk, finals provide an excuse to gottahava hoagie. Thank you lawd!
  7. Submit and enjoy Penn Compliments! Oh wait, that will inevitably continue during break and forever.