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Race To The UA 2K13: The Year Of The Write-Ins


It’s the best week of the year for former student council presidents and historians alike: UA election week!  Whether the UA and/or Class Board actually accomplishes anything is suspect, but we at least know they and those vying for their spots are crafty with their scissors, glitter, and iMovies.  We interrupt our normal programming for our semi-annual look at the best of the worst campaign efforts, with one glaring absence: Anthony Janocko, where you at??!

Bill Ding’s poster has A LOT going on.  We like that he takes advantage of both his name, a gift from the pun gods, and classic Renaissance art.  But do they mesh?

That pun! +200 Unfair pun possibilities with a name like Bill Ding, though. -150 ART! +74 And photoshop skillz: +30 But what does it all mean?  We don’t see the harmony: -75

Total: 79


Nikolai is close enough with Amy G to, like, take snapchattable pics with her.  But is there more to him?

A sort-of Amy G endorsement: +300 But, Nikolai, did you make this poster in the rain? -100 And that tape? -20 And the punniest you could come up with was ZAPertov? Are we missing something? -199

Total: -19


Let’s move on to some videos now.  Kailey Zitaner is overtaking the interwebs with her series of videos, and we don’t have enough gigabytes to review them all.  We’ll sparknotes this campaign and just take a look at Jboy’s (??) endorsement:


“Keep Calm and Kailey On:” SO 2012, at the very latest, Kailey bb -800 She’s “bold 'n friendly!”  We love that: +305 Ooh, but she’s also “slightly argumentative.”  We don't mind so much: -5

Total: -500

Maddie Gee’s video put JBoy’s endorsement to shame!  She got the one and only ~Dean ErIc FuRdA~ to support her:


This is the kind of video our attention spans like! +7 (seconds) Eric Furda voted?!! +666 Can he do that? -.-

Total: 673 + -.-

And, now a video to represent all the write-ins out there.  If you aren’t satisfied with the candidates out there, consider voting team Beef Supreme:


Use of nacho cheese joke: +10 Wait, actually: -70 But we appreciate the effort: +60

Total: 0

You’ve seen the posters and you’ve seen the videos, so the only thing left to do is VOTE!